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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The line graph below gives information about the number of visitors to three London museums between June and September 2013. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The line graph below gives information about the number of visitors to three London museums between June and September 2013. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The line graph provides data about the
number
Use synonyms
 of
visitors
Use synonyms
 to three different museums in London between June and September 2013.
Overall
Linking Words
, the highest
number
Use synonyms
 of
visitors
Use synonyms
 went to
British
Correct article usage
the British
show examples
Museum
Use synonyms
 and the lowest attendance rate
had
Verb problem
was
show examples
Science
Correct article usage
the Science
show examples
Museum
Use synonyms
. As can clearly be seen, In June the
number
Use synonyms
 of
visitors
Use synonyms
 who went to
British
Correct article usage
the British
show examples
Museum
Use synonyms
 was 600000, In July the
number
Use synonyms
 of
visitors
Use synonyms
 increased reaching its peak(roughly 750000
visitors
Use synonyms
). In August the
number
Use synonyms
 of
visitors
Use synonyms
 abruptly decreased,
however
Linking Words
, it started to rise and in September the British
Museum
Use synonyms
 had the highest attendance rate compared to others. In June the figure of
visitors
Use synonyms
 who went to
Natural
Correct article usage
the Natural
show examples
 History
Museum
Use synonyms
 was pretty high(approximately 550000 individuals),
however
Linking Words
, in July the
number
Use synonyms
 of
visitors
Use synonyms
 abruptly decreased from 550000 to more or less 390000. In July the
number
Use synonyms
 increased gradually, and in August the
number
Use synonyms
 of
visitors
Use synonyms
 abruptly rose by approximately 100000. The lowest attendance rate had
Science
Correct article usage
the Science
show examples
Museum
Use synonyms
 in all months,
initially
Linking Words
 the
number
Use synonyms
 of
visitors
Use synonyms
 was 400000,
however
Linking Words
, it abruptly dropped and in August the
number
Use synonyms
 of
visitors
Use synonyms
 was 300000, even though from August to September the
number
Use synonyms
 of
visitors
Use synonyms
 rose it still had the lowest
number
Use synonyms
 of
visitors
Use synonyms
 compared to other museums

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 77%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, visitors, museum with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 11 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • line graph
  • illustrates
  • number of visitors
  • museums
  • from June to September 2013
  • the British Museum
  • the Natural History Museum
  • the Science Museum
  • overall trend
  • attracted
  • the most visitors
  • fewest visitors
  • peak
  • experienced fluctuations
  • decline
  • highlight
  • dominance
  • consistent decline
  • minor resurgence
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