IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people are happy to spend their whole life in the same area, others prefer to live in many different places in thair life time? Discuss boyh views & give your opinion

#people #life #area #places #thair #time #boyh
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It is a fact that
while
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 many choose to
move
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 and live in different
places
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 in their lifetime, some prefer to spend their whole life in the same
place
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. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss both of
the
Correct your spelling
these
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 views and provide my opinion
over
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on
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this
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.
To begin
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 with, few
people
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 always prefer to live in
same
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the same
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place
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 with their families all their life because many jobs
demands
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demand
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 them to stay
at
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in
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same
Add an article
the same
a same
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 city for long periods of time. It is obvious that they get settled there
start
Correct word choice
and start
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 a family. In
such
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 cases, it is almost impossible for
people
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 to
move
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 frequently to different cities.
However
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, there are others who prefer strong relationships, security and comfort of their own homes. It can
also
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 be taken into account that in some cultures, families tend to stay together in one house.
Therefore
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, they are not interested
to live
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in living
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 in different
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place
Fix the agreement mistake
places
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 away from relatives.
On the other hand
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, many individuals love to explore many
places
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 and cultures.
Hence
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, they travel across the nation and world to experience them.
While
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 some travel to indulge
various
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in various
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 experiences, others
move
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 to
places
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 because of their employment. These
people
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 are always on the
move
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 and obtain knowledge
over
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about
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 many
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places
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places'
place's
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 habitants and their traditions which provides them an understanding
over
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of
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 how a country works in regard
of
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to
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 its economy and culture.
However
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, in my opinion,
people
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 should travel for a
while
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 and
finally
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 settle down in one
place
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 where and when they wish to start a family. Because
,
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apply
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 by travelling one can understand different conditions and
people
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 which helps them with personality development and they can use their learnings from their experience in their personal life. To
recapitualte
Correct your spelling
recapitulate
,
while
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 some live in
a
Correct article usage
the
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 same
place
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
for
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 their whole lifetime, many want to experience and live in different cities. Anyhow, I believe that a combination of both is good for anyone so that they can gain knowledge and settle down happily anywhere.
Submitted by tejanavyapc2000 on

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task response
Your essay partially addresses the task, but it lacks a clear position throughout the response. Ensure your opinion is stated distinctively and maintained consistently.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the logical structure of your essay. Ideas should be arranged more coherently with clear paragraphing, and main points should be supported by fully developed arguments.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your arguments. This will strengthen your response by demonstrating a deeper understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Familiarity
  • Stability
  • Security
  • Cultural roots
  • Financial strain
  • Diverse experiences
  • Flexibility
  • Growth
  • Career opportunities
  • Curiosity
  • Adventure
  • Perspective
  • Merit
  • Home base
What to do next:
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