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Band 4

Some people think that children should be homeschooled when they are very young while others think it is better for them to attend a kindergarten. Which do you think is better? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

#people #children #kindergarten #support
In
this
 period of inflation/technology/modernity/ globalization, many people are
. .
Replace the punctuation
.
...
show examples
 In my opinion, I strongly disagree with
this
 notion and my opinion will be discussed in
further
 paragraphs with a suitable conclusion. Supporting my agreement or disagreement
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 the given statement, I firmly believe that. To cite an example
,.
Change the punctuation
,
.
show examples
Moreover
.
For instance
 Explaining some of the
another supporting points
Replace the adjective
another supporting point
other supporting points
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
against
this
 statement, it is true that. As
a
Change the article
an
show examples
As a consequence
. In conclusion
, .
Change the punctuation
,
.
show examples
 I believe that
aforementioned
Correct article usage
the aforementioned
show examples
 points are strongly supporting my
view point
Correct your spelling
viewpoint
show examples
.
Submitted by gtkmem2019 on

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coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear and logical structure. Introduction and conclusion are poorly defined and the main points are not strongly supported. It is essential to present your ideas coherently with clear topic sentences for each paragraph, and to flow logically from one idea to the next, establishing clear connections between them.
task achievement
The response is incomplete and fails to fully address the task. There are no clear, comprehensive ideas presented, and the essay lacks relevant, specific examples. To achieve a higher score, make sure to fully answer the question by presenting a balanced argument with well-developed ideas and supporting each point with specific examples or explanations.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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