Some people think that high salary is important when choosing a company to work for, while others think that good working atmosphere is more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Many people believe having a high income is crucial when selecting a
job
, while
others consider having a good working environment is
more important. Wrong verb form
to be
This
essay will discuss both views and writer’s
opinion.
Correct article usage
the writer’s
To begin
with, some individuals think that finding a job
that offers a high salary
is crucial. Because they believe that the offered salary
is in-line
with the capacity and Correct your spelling
in line
job
descriptions that must be fulfilled. For example
, a high salary
is usually given for
top management with bigger responsibilities. Change preposition
to
In addition
, in areas that have a higher living cost, the amount of income plays an important role. For instance
, living in
Change preposition
apply
a
downtown usually requires Correct article usage
apply
highest
cost than other areas and the cost always Change the article
the highest
increase
significantly Correct subject-verb agreement
increases
by
Change preposition
over
the
time.
Correct article usage
apply
On the other hand
, job
seekers see that having a comfortable working office is the best choice. Supportive
environment in an office can boost employees’ productivity and motivation. It can have a positive effect on their performance and they can have Add an article
A supportive
The supportive
a
better cooperation with other co-workers. Nowadays, a lot of workers resign because of Remove the article
apply
uncomfortable
working atmosphere. Correct article usage
an uncomfortable
For instance
, company staff should finish jobs that
is
their responsibilities and bad communication with other colleagues.
In conclusion, in my Correct subject-verb agreement
are
opinion
selecting a Add a comma
opinion,
job
that can support us is better than having a higher income. Because being involved in an excellent working environment can motivate people to do better in their performances. Despite, earning more
Fix the agreement mistake
a higher
salary
is also
one of crucial
factors when accepting Add an article
the crucial
a
work because of the high living expenses.Remove the article
apply
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coherence cohesion
The essay provided a clear introduction and conclusion, which aligns with the requirements of a well-structured argumentative essay. However, for improvement, strive to ensure that each paragraph seamlessly connects to the next, with more varied and sophisticated transitional phrases. Additionally, ensure that each main point is well-developed and elaborated upon, using clear examples or explanations to fully support the argument.
task achievement
The essay did address the task, providing discussion of both views and an opinion. To score higher, you should ensure that your ideas are explained in greater depth, offering more detailed and nuanced arguments. You should also incorporate specific and relevant examples to strengthen your points. Avoid overly general statements and aim to fully address all parts of the prompt with a balanced approach before giving a reasoned conclusion reflective of the discussed content.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?