Nowadays, more and more people are moving from the countryside to cities, which are becoming overcrowded. What are the reasons for this movement to cities and what can be done to reduce it? ALWAYS read the topic clearly and work out exactly what you have to write abou

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In the beginning ,Whilst some proponents assert that living in the
metropoloses
Correct your spelling
metropolises
metropolis
is more convenient for
advanced
Correct article usage
an advanced
show examples
lifestyle,
countryside
residents advocate the other direction.I am of the belief that dwelling in the urban
area
is
best
Change the article
the best
show examples
place for workforce chances and educational opportunities. On the one hand, the chief advantage of
countryside
Add an article
the countryside
show examples
is related to health,
wherase
Correct your spelling
whereas
where
cities
Change the noun form
city
show examples
dwellers suffer from air pollution.
This
means that when some people take the decision to reside in
urban
Add an article
an urban
show examples
area
this
lead to
Correct article usage
an icrease
show examples
icrease
Correct your spelling
increase
their
Change preposition
in their
show examples
chance
to be
Change preposition
of being
show examples
employed faster, and
well educated
Add a hyphen
well-educated
show examples
as well.
For instance
, a recent study conducted by WHO
reveales
Correct your spelling
reveals
revealed
that the employment rate in civic
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
is three times more than
rural
Change preposition
in rural
show examples
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
show examples
.
Hence
, the financial and educational factors are the main motive for
that
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
internal
immigation
Correct your spelling
immigration
process when it comes to
statisic
Correct your spelling
statistic
statistical
statistics
analysis.
Nevertheless
, the step that should be taken to lessen moving toward urban areas is a governmental action to
decentralizing
Wrong verb form
decentralise
show examples
the multinational
factories
Change noun form
factories'
factory's
show examples
location. To
exaplain
Correct your spelling
explain
that , commuting workers are seeking
fulltime
Correct your spelling
full-time
show examples
job, if that
factories
Change noun form
factory's
show examples
distribution
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
changed to a rural
area
, it will
definetily
Correct your spelling
definitely
accelerate that objective.
For example
, the
Egyption
Correct your spelling
Egyptian
government has recently legislated that dictates that the second branch of any enterprise should be located in the
countryside
.A second role to decrease that
migation
Correct your spelling
migration
mitigation
is building
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
new colleges and educational institutions in the outskirts of the capitals.
Therefore
, what can be is that the governmental strategy
play
Change the verb form
plays
show examples
a crucial role in developing the
countryside
. In conclusion,
after
this
essay has
manifestes
Correct your spelling
manifested
manifests
manifestos
that
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
points
mentionted
Correct your spelling
mentioned
above, it can be said that the education level and high employment rate are the main reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
that migration.
However
, the
geiographaical
Correct your spelling
geographical
reallocation of
that
Correct determiner usage
those
show examples
resources can redesign the
countryside
Change noun form
countryside's
show examples
future.
Submitted by madany1976 on

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Coherence & Cohesion
In terms of coherence and cohesion, the essay would benefit from a clearer logical structure. This includes improving paragraph transitions to ensure a seamless flow of ideas from one point to the next. Use cohesive devices correctly and thoughtfully to link sentences and paragraphs together.
Task Achievement
To improve task achievement, ensure that you fully address all parts of the prompt. Expand on your main points with well-developed ideas and specific examples. Your essay should also maintain a consistent focus on the topic without deviating to unrelated subjects.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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