In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to slove them?

These days,
overweight
Correct article usage
the overweight
show examples
issue indeed is
most
Correct article usage
the most
show examples
controversial topic around the world. In some nations, people's weight is increased and their fitness and health ratio are decreased tremendously. There are some main reasons for
this
trend and some feasible solutions could be addressed to cure
this
issue.
This
essay will examine
for
Correct pronoun usage
this for
show examples
the following reasons. To commence with, there are two major stems behind
this
problem. One of the primary
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
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is that nowadays lifestyle because mankind neither free time nor interest to maintain their health.
This
means in
this
fast- paced
Correct your spelling
fast-paced
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world, everybody be and
live
Correct subject-verb agreement
lives
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in
Change preposition
apply
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busy, so they do not have
more
Correct quantifier usage
much
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time to
being
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be
show examples
healthy.
For example
, long hours of sitting in
office
Add an article
an office
show examples
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can bring
sedentary
Add an article
a sedentary
show examples
lifestyle,
they
Correct word choice
and they
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return back
to
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apply
show examples
home and
take
Verb problem
apply
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rest from heating work schedule, so,
this
adverse situation
stimulates
Verb problem
causes
show examples
humans to be overweight,
coupled with
a lack of exercise
also
enhance
Change the verb form
enhances
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to get
Verb problem
apply
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obesity issues. Despite these causes, there are some feasible solutions that can be solved. One of the remedies is that the government should create more
awarness
Correct your spelling
awareness
towards the population about physical exercises
along with
how to
being
Wrong verb form
be
show examples
fit rather than overweight
such
as
billboards
Fix the agreement mistake
billboard
show examples
awarness
Correct your spelling
awareness
.
For instance
, humankind should follow the health-based on
foods
instead
of junk
foods
in order to they can stay
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
away from obesity troubles.
Hence
, doing physical exercise
as well as
eating healthy
food stuff
Correct your spelling
foodstuff
show examples
together to solve
this
problem effectively. In
condusion
Correct your spelling
conclusion
confusion
,
sedentary
Correct article usage
a sedentary
show examples
lifestyle stimulates overweight
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
humans
book
Verb problem
apply
show examples
, even
thoughs
Correct your spelling
though
creating
awarness
Correct your spelling
awareness
by
Change preposition
among
show examples
the
govemment
Correct your spelling
government
about physical
exercised
Replace the word
exercise
show examples
frequently, and
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
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try to
be followed
Wrong verb form
follow
show examples
healthy
foods
only eat than packed.
foods
are the solutions
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
issue.
Submitted by reanudeepan on

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coherence cohesion
To enhance the logical structure, make sure each paragraph flows seamlessly into the next. Using appropriate linking words can help achieve this.
coherence cohesion
Improve your introduction by clearly outlining the main points you will discuss in your essay. This helps in setting a clear roadmap for the reader.
task achievement
While you have provided some relevant specific examples, try to ensure they are well-integrated into your essay. Furthermore, consider elaborating more on each example to enhance its effectiveness.
task achievement
Your ideas are clear, but they can be made more comprehensive by discussing both the causes and solutions in a bit more detail. This will likely make your response more complete and satisfying.
task achievement
You have identified some pertinent causes of the issue, such as a sedentary lifestyle and lack of exercise, which shows a good understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Your essay displays a good structure with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, making it easy to follow your argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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