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Band 4

将来的には、より多くの人々が自分の国で休暇に行き、休暇で海外旅行をしないことを選ぶでしょう。 反対意見を理由とともに、あなた自身の知識や経験から関連する例を含めて述べよ。 少なくとも250詰いてください。

I disagree with the idea that in the future many
people
 will vacation within their own countries and avoid international
travel
.
First,
the effects of globalization will continue and the world will become increasingly interconnected.
Along with
this
 process,
people
 will develop a greater interest in the cultures and landscapes of other countries, and
this
 will drive demand for international
travel
.
For example
,
travel
 to regions
such
 as Asia and South America is becoming easier with the increase in air
travel
 routes.
Second,
economic growth will expand access to international
travel
, especially in emerging economies. Rising incomes will give more
people
 the opportunity to
travel
 abroad. In China and India,
for example
, a growing middle class has led to a rapid increase in tourism to international destinations.
Third,
technological advances will make international
travel
 even more accessible. The proliferation of online
travel
 booking sites and apps is making
travel
 affordable and easy to plan.
This
 makes it easier for individuals to plan international
travel
.
Additionally
, increased environmental awareness may change the nature of international
travel
, but does not necessarily mean a decrease. Ecotourism and cultural exchange opportunities can provide new incentives for international
travel
. For these reasons, globalization, economic growth, and technological advances have the potential to create more demand for international
travel
. These factors provide opportunities for
people
 to experience foreign countries in different ways.
Submitted by chisae112 on

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coherence cohesion
The essay needs a clearer structure with distinct introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear central idea and that the ideas progress logically throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
Support each point with specific examples and ensure they are relevant to the topic.
task achievement
Address the task more completely, making sure to respond directly to the question posed and fully develop your answer.
task achievement
Ensure your ideas are clear and elaborated on with comprehensive explanations and specific details.
task achievement
Use relevant examples to back up your points, and make sure these examples are specific and detailed.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • bilingual
  • multilingual
  • fluency
  • communicate
  • cognitive skills
  • cultural awareness
  • opportunities
  • globalized world
  • job market
  • interact
  • linguistic abilities
  • cultural exchange
  • language proficiency
  • language barrier
  • foreign travel
  • personal growth
  • academic achievement
  • self-confidence
  • enhance
  • cross-cultural communication
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