some people think that the teenage years are the happiest times of most people's lives. others think that adult life brings more happiness ,in spite of greater responsibilites. discuss both these views and give your openion.

#people #years #times #lives #adult #life #happiness #spite #responsibilites #openion

According to

individuals

presents

Verb problem

apply

show examples

the view that the happiest time of one's life is when they are

teenage

Correct your spelling

teenagers

show examples

while

others believe that despite

adults

' responsibilities, they are more likely to be more satisfied with their lives. I strongly agree with the latter opinion.

To begin

with, some people argue that

adults

can benefit from a wide range of activities that make them feel happy.

Firstly

, they can pursue careers that match their interests and talents. Following

such

careers gives them a sense of satisfaction, which is vital to be positive and happy.

Secondly

, developing your own family and living with your loved ones are things that can bring a true sense of joy .

Finally

, if

adults

decide to go on a holiday, they are very likely to benefit from the necessary resources.

In contrast

to children, they are independent and are able to afford a vocation without worrying about their financial or educational status, which can improve their moods now and

then

On the other hand

, another group claims that

teenagers

are getting support

Change preposition

from

show examples

parents and do not suffer from having tight schedules, they can be happy. They strictly insist that children not only benefit from

peace

Add an article

the peace

show examples

of mind but

also

spend quality time with

Correct pronoun usage

their partner

show examples

partner

Fix the agreement mistake

partners

show examples

Consequently

, having high standards of living provided by parents,

teenagers

should not have any issues that make them sad.

However

, I do not find

this

argument convincing.

Although

financial stability and excellent amenities play a significant role in

ones

Change to a genitive case

one's

show examples

happiness, other factors should be taken into consideration.

For example

, most

teenagers

are deprived of the freedom that they desire.

However

,they may have to participate in various voluntary work as a part of school programs.

In addition

, they are sometimes compelled to go to bed early, leading to several mental problems

such

as depression, which can

hide

Verb problem

prevent

show examples

them from being as happy as possible.

To conclude

, in my view, living as an adult provides the opportunity to be satisfied with your life. From my perspective, there are several activities, having a well-paid job and getting married,

for instance

, making

adults

happy,

while

most

teenagers

are not allowed to experience what they enjoy

Submitted by hashi4728 on Sat Nov 25 2023

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coherence cohesion

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coherence cohesion

Develop each paragraph with a main idea, followed by supporting arguments and examples. Some paragraphs were more developed than others; strive for consistency across all points.

task achievement

Be sure to provide relevant and specific examples to support your main points. Your essay had examples, but they could be further detailed to strengthen your argument.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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19Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

358 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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some people think that the teenage years are the happiest times of most people's lives. others think that adult life brings more happiness ,in spite of greater responsibilites. discuss both these views and give your openion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

The picture below shows Bell Hill farm in 1976 and the changes that took place in 2006. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparison where relevant.

Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changes because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Has this become a positive or negative development?

Some people say companies should require all employees to wear uniforms at work. Others think it is unnecessary. Discuss both view and give your own opinion.

More and more students choose to move to other oversea countries to have the higher education. Does the trend bring more benefits than disadvantages? What is your opinion?