some people think that the teenage years are the happiest times of most people's lives. others think that adult life brings more happiness ,in spite of greater responsibilites. discuss both these views and give your openion.

#people #years #times #lives #adult #life #happiness #spite #responsibilites #openion

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According to

Linking Words

individuals

presents

Verb problem

apply

show examples

the view that the happiest time of one's life is when they are

teenage

Correct your spelling

teenagers

show examples

while

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others believe that despite

adults

Use synonyms

' responsibilities, they are more likely to be more satisfied with their lives. I strongly agree with the latter opinion.

To begin

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with, some people argue that

adults

Use synonyms

can benefit from a wide range of activities that make them feel happy.

Firstly

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, they can pursue careers that match their interests and talents. Following

such

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careers gives them a sense of satisfaction, which is vital to be positive and happy.

Secondly

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, developing your own family and living with your loved ones are things that can bring a true sense of joy .

Finally

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, if

adults

Use synonyms

decide to go on a holiday, they are very likely to benefit from the necessary resources.

In contrast

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to children, they are independent and are able to afford a vocation without worrying about their financial or educational status, which can improve their moods now and

then

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On the other hand

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, another group claims that

teenagers

Use synonyms

are getting support

Change preposition

from

show examples

parents and do not suffer from having tight schedules, they can be happy. They strictly insist that children not only benefit from

peace

Add an article

the peace

show examples

of mind but

also

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spend quality time with

Correct pronoun usage

their partner

show examples

partner

Fix the agreement mistake

partners

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Consequently

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, having high standards of living provided by parents,

teenagers

Use synonyms

should not have any issues that make them sad.

However

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, I do not find

this

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argument convincing.

Although

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financial stability and excellent amenities play a significant role in

ones

Change to a genitive case

one's

show examples

happiness, other factors should be taken into consideration.

For example

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, most

teenagers

Use synonyms

are deprived of the freedom that they desire.

However

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,they may have to participate in various voluntary work as a part of school programs.

In addition

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, they are sometimes compelled to go to bed early, leading to several mental problems

such

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as depression, which can

hide

Verb problem

prevent

show examples

them from being as happy as possible.

To conclude

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, in my view, living as an adult provides the opportunity to be satisfied with your life. From my perspective, there are several activities, having a well-paid job and getting married,

for instance

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, making

adults

Use synonyms

happy,

while

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most

teenagers

Use synonyms

are not allowed to experience what they enjoy

Submitted by hashi4728 on Sat Nov 25 2023

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that your essay has a clear structure with distinct introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. While this was present in your essay, the transition between ideas could be smoother.

coherence cohesion

Develop each paragraph with a main idea, followed by supporting arguments and examples. Some paragraphs were more developed than others; strive for consistency across all points.

task achievement

Be sure to provide relevant and specific examples to support your main points. Your essay had examples, but they could be further detailed to strengthen your argument.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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19
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

358 words

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some people think that the teenage years are the happiest times of most people's lives. others think that adult life brings more happiness ,in spite of greater responsibilites. discuss both these views and give your openion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Many believe that it is important to protect all wild animals, while others think that it is important to protect some, not all of them. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

It is a commonly held belief that the death penalty is a good deterrent to prevent heinous crimes. However, others believe that life long sentence is a better deterrent. Discuss both views

Government investment in the arts,such as music and theatre is a waste of money. Government must invest this money in public service instead. Do you agree or disagree.

Many small businesses are being forced to close because they cannot compete with multinational corporations. What problems does this cause, and how can those problems be solved?

Write a letter to a friend who will come to your country to work for 6 months. In your letter, you should: •recommend a city •suggest a few jobs that your friend could do •give some opinions about making friends with the locals.