Some people believe that the difference between the lowest paid job and the highest paid jobs should be reduced. What extent do you agree?

There are some people who believe that wage gaps between the highest and lowest paid should be reduced. I totally disagree with
this
statement because
employees
will feel unfair dan unmotivated to upgrade themselves. The
salary
gap between the highest and lowest paid will cause the feeling of unfairness among
employees
, especially
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
those who receive the biggest
salary
.
This
is
due to
the norm in a working environment where people with higher responsibility will obtain more pay
rather
Rephrase
apply
show examples
than those who have less responsibility in one organization.
Thus
, the top
employees
will feel dissatisfied with their monetary rewards if it is almost the same nominal
with
Change preposition
as
show examples
lower
positions
.
For instance
, in one of the companies in Indonesia, there has been an uproar
for
Change preposition
over
show examples
the inequality of the payments received by their
employees
. The executives feel that their
skills
have been undervalued causing their pay to be almost similar to those who are in lower
positions
. The monetary rewards can be one way to motivate
employees
to upgrade their
skills
.
This
is because those
workers
who learn more
skills
might get promotions to better
positions
and receive greater salaries. So, if the
salary
gaps between higher and lower
positions
are reduced,
this
will demotivate those
workers
to learn more
skills
as they might feel that it is unnecessary.
For example
, These days
workers
are more rewarded if they have
skills
such
as operating MS offices or are able to do data analysis.
Therefore
, if the pay for those who have no demanded
skills
is almost similar to those who are skilled,
this
will cause
workers
in lower
positions
unwilling to upgrade their
skills
.
To conclude
, It will be unfair and demotivating for
employees
if there is a reduced gap between the
salary
of higher and lower
positions
.
Submitted by lavenia34808 on

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coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear introduction that clearly states the writer's opinion on the topic. Make sure to include a concise thesis statement that outlines the main argument of the essay. Avoid ambiguity in the introduction, as this sets the tone for the essay.
coherence cohesion
Work on the structure of your main body paragraphs. Each paragraph should have a clear central idea, supported by relevant examples or explanations. In this essay, one of the examples provided is somewhat vague and could be developed further for greater clarity and impact.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph must start with a clear topic sentence that introduces the main idea of the paragraph. This helps readers follow your line of reasoning more easily.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion needs to be strengthened. Summarize your key points and reassert your position clearly to ensure that your viewpoint on the issue is understood. Avoid introducing new information in the conclusion.
task achievement
Make sure to address the task directly and develop your arguments thoroughly. While the essay responds to the task, it does so with limited elaboration. Consider expanding on your ideas and explaining how they support your position in more depth.
task achievement
Your essay has to consistently present clear and comprehensive ideas that relate directly to the question posed. Some of the ideas in this essay are on-topic, but more specificity and development of those ideas would make them more comprehensive and convincing.
task achievement
Include more relevant and specific examples to support your points. The examples given are relevant, but they are general and not fully developed. Detailed examples can help illustrate and strengthen your arguments, making your essay more persuasive.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Income disparity
  • Equitable
  • Socio-economic groups
  • Wage gap
  • Morale
  • Productivity
  • Social cohesion
  • Public health outcomes
  • Incentivize
  • Innovation
  • Economic growth
  • Skill level
  • Expertise
  • Competitiveness
  • Market forces
  • Supply-and-demand dynamics
  • Artificial adjustments
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