IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 1

Wealthy nations should assist poorer countries with humanitarian relief during natural disaster. Do you agree or disagree?

#nations #countries #relief #disaster
The line graph compares the amount
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
 electricity production in France using four different
surces
Correct your spelling
sources
period
Change to a plural noun
periods
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 of 1980 and 2010. Nuclear  started the same
of
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as
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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hydro electric
Correct your spelling
hydroelectric
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 under 75
terrawat
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terawatt
hours
 of electricity, but
it is clear that
 nuclear power was by far. The thermal is started under 150
terrawat
Correct your spelling
terawatt
hours
 of electricity but it finished with the same of hydroelectric. The  renewables started in a
terrawat
Correct your spelling
terawatt
hours
 for 1980 and 2005
years
 but in become 2005 and 2010
years
 it is a bit high to under 50
terrawat
Correct your spelling
terawatt
hours
. Nuclear in 2000 and 2005
years
 was by far but
2005
Change preposition
in 2005
show examples
 and 2010
years
 Nuclear a bit decrease
then
 nuclear before 2010
years
 was high
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 under 450terrawat
hours
.
Submitted by bekzodeshonjonovv on

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introduction conclusion present
Your essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion, which are essential for providing context and summarizing your points. Consider adding these to form a complete argument structure.
logical structure
The coherence of your essay is compromised by grammatical errors and unclear phrasing, making it difficult to follow your points. Focus on sentence structure and clear expression of ideas.
supported main points
Your main points are not well-supported with specific evidence or examples. Use data or real-life examples to strengthen your arguments.
complete response
The response does not directly address the prompt about whether wealthy nations should assist poorer countries with humanitarian aid during disasters. Provide a clear stance and develop your argument in relation to the prompt.
clear comprehensive ideas
Your ideas are not clearly communicated, and it's difficult to understand your comprehensive view on the topic. Clarity and detail are needed to convey your message effectively.
relevant specific examples
Your essay fails to provide relevant and specific examples related to the prompt about providing humanitarian relief. Including such examples is crucial to illustrate and support your points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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