IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

It has recently been announced that a new movie theater may be built in your neighborhood. Do you support or oppose this plan? Why? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.

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Introduction
Some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that schoolchildren should do their
classwork
Use synonyms
 individually other
people
Use synonyms
  believe that sometimes
classwork
Use synonyms
 should be done in small
groups
Use synonyms
.
Body paragraph 1
Some
people
Use synonyms
 think
Use synonyms
school
Correct your spelling
schoolchildren
show examples
children
Use synonyms
 should do their
class work
Correct your spelling
classwork
show examples
 individually.
Another
Replace the adjective
Other
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 think
Correct your spelling
they
that
thay
Correct your spelling
that
 sometimes
classwork
Use synonyms
 must be done in small
groups
Use synonyms
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 think both sides are good
Body paragraph 2
On the one hand, some
people
Use synonyms
 popularly believe that
Use synonyms
school
Correct your spelling
schoolchildren
show examples
children
Use synonyms
 should do their
classwork
Use synonyms
 individually. In some
Use synonyms
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
 educated lots of experienced
teachers
Use synonyms
 teach and learnt how to do
homatasks
Correct your spelling
homework
 and
classwork
Use synonyms
 in some
schools
Use synonyms
.
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
 a
lot
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 think that schoolchildren cannot do
theirs
Correct the word
their
show examples
classwork
Use synonyms
 and understand
alsi
Correct your spelling
also
 after
lesson
Fix the agreement mistake
lessons
show examples
teachers
Use synonyms
 help
to
Correct pronoun usage
them to
show examples
 do
hometasks
Correct your spelling
home tasks
.
Body paragraph 3
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
 popularly believe that sometimes
classwork
Use synonyms
 should be done in small
groups
Use synonyms
. In our
country
Add a comma
country,
show examples
 most
people
Use synonyms
's
children
Use synonyms
 go to
schools
Use synonyms
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 when
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 don'
t
Use synonyms
 how to
doing
Wrong verb form
do
show examples
Linking Words
this
Change the determiner
this child
these children
show examples
children
Use synonyms
going
Wrong verb form
go
show examples
 to the education
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
. In our country some
teachers
Use synonyms
 in some
schools
Use synonyms
 open
some
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
small
groups
Use synonyms
 to do
classworks
Correct your spelling
classwork
class works
glassworks
, which students don'
t
Use synonyms
 understand how to do
classwork
Use synonyms
 and
hometasks
Correct your spelling
home tasks
 in small
groups
Use synonyms
teachers
Use synonyms
 understand more for
theme
Add an article
the theme
a theme
show examples
.
Correct quantifier usage
more.
show examples
Conclusion
In my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
 schoolchildren must do their
classwork
Use synonyms
 individually in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
school
Use synonyms
.
Teachers
Use synonyms
 should understand
theme
Add an article
the theme
show examples
 and how to do the
classwork
Use synonyms
 . But
nowdays
Correct the word
nowadays
show examples
 in our
country
Add a comma
country,
show examples
 a
lot
Use synonyms
 of
schools
Use synonyms
teachers
Use synonyms
 don'
t
Use synonyms
 understand
Correct article usage
the theme
show examples
theme
Correct your spelling
them
show examples
then
Linking Words
Use synonyms
lot
Change the article
a lot
show examples
 of parents'
children
Use synonyms
 need to go education
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 to do
classworks
Correct your spelling
classwork
class works
 and
hometasks
Correct your spelling
home tasks
. It takes
Use synonyms
lot
Change the article
a lot
show examples
 of time if
teachers
Use synonyms
 understand well students try to do
classworks
Correct your spelling
classwork
class works
glassworks
. I think that when
teachers
Use synonyms
 teach subjects very
borry
Correct your spelling
boring
 any students get
borry
Correct your spelling
bored
 and don'
t
Use synonyms
 interested in
subjects
Correct article usage
the subjects
show examples
.

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Introduction & Conclusion
Your essay could be improved by establishing a clear introduction that presents the topic and your stand on it. Using a more structured approach with distinct introductory and concluding paragraphs would benefit your response.
Supported Main Points
Ensure that each paragraph contains a single, clear idea that is expanded upon with examples or explanations. While you attempted to discuss both sides of the argument, the supporting statements were not well-developed or clear.
Logical Structure
A structured approach including a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion enhances the logical flow of your essay. Refrain from including multiple ideas in one paragraph and keep the structure consisting of one main idea per paragraph, supported by relevant examples.
Clear & Comprehensive Ideas
To provide a full response to the essay prompt, your ideas must be articulated clearly and comprehensively. It's important to stay on topic and ensure that each sentence contributes to the overall argument or point of the essay.
Relevant Specific Examples
To support your points more effectively, include specific examples that are directly relevant to the argument being made. Your examples should be developed and should clearly illustrate the point you're trying to make.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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