Childhood obesity is becoming a severe issue in many nations. This essay will look at some primary causes of this and offer some possible solutions to the problem.

#childhood #obesity #nations #offer

At present, obesity is the biggest issue among

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

infants across the world.

This

is a most crucial problem in some nations

due to

more cravings, eating

junk

food and

Correct article usage

a sendentary

show examples

sendentary

Correct your spelling

sedentary

lifestyle. Changing eating healthy habits and doing physical activity is the curable remedy to

this

trouble.

This

essay will discuss it briefly for the following reasons. There are some

maia

Correct your spelling

main

reasons for children

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

being

over weight

Correct your spelling

overweight

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

their childhood period.

Firstly

, infants

are eaten

Wrong verb form

eat

show examples

Remove the article

apply

show examples

plenty of

junk

foods

and carbonated drinks in their day-to-day

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

due to

Change preposition

because

show examples

they are more found with

junk

foods

Change the noun form

food

show examples

tastes.

Secondly

eating

Wrong verb form

they eat

show examples

more frequently especially at midnight because cravings are stimulated to eat plenty,

as a consequence

, they are

being

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

obssed

Correct your spelling

obsessed

abused

bossed

Thirdly

, toddlers are being sedendary lifestyle at present

such

as playing video games, browsing

Correct article usage

the internets

show examples

internets

Fix the agreement mistake

internet

show examples

and using

socisl

Correct your spelling

social

medias

Correct your spelling

media

show examples

. These are the main reasons for children are being

over

Rephrase

apply

show examples

weighted

Correct your spelling

weighed

show examples

. There are several possible actions that could be taken to mitigate the issue mentioned above.

Firstly

, infants should eat

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

healthy

foods

like fruits and

vegeatbles

Correct your spelling

vegetables

in their daily meals and they should avoid all

junk

foods

Secondly

, kids must do outdoor physical activity in their free time rather

then

Replace the word

than

show examples

being

sedendary

Correct your spelling

sedentary

lifestyle in order to they can be fit.

Finally

, stop eating frequently and stop cravings thoughts like eating more

fiber

Change the spelling

fibre

show examples

foods

insted

Correct your spelling

instead

of carbs. These are the possible solutions

are

Correct pronoun usage

that are

show examples

assisted to reduce

this

situation.

To conclude

, toddlers

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

being

over weight

Correct your spelling

overweight

show examples

is the most

importance

Replace the word

important

show examples

problem in some nations we have to address it with the

above mentioned

Add a hyphen

above-mentioned

show examples

remedies. Parents should monitor their

kids

Change noun form

kid's

kids'

show examples

eating behaviour whether they eat

healty

Correct your spelling

healthy

or not.

Submitted by reanudeepan on Sat Nov 25 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

There are noticeable issues with grammar, punctuation, and word choice throughout the essay, which can lead to reduced coherence. Consider revising for correct grammar usage, proper punctuation, and vocabulary accuracy.

task achievement

Work on developing your ideas more fully. Each point mentioned requires further explanation and exploration to create a strong argument.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
34Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

274 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
You have been selected for a training course on computer skills that you cannot attend. WRITE A LETTER TO YOUR EMPLOYER AND SAY Explain how this training course would help you Why won't you be able to attend it Suggest a way to have that training again
I am Kiranpreet Kaur, working as a team lead in your company. The reason I am writing to you is about a training event on learning computer skills which I will not be able to attend due to personal reasons.
5.5
band
You are organizing a conference for your company. Write a letter to a colleague asking him/her to give a presentation during the conference. -Describe what this conference is about -Why you want him/her to give a presentation -Give details about the conference
I am writing this letter to invite you to give a presentation which is going to be conducted on the annual conference.
6
band
Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
It is commonly argued that, numerous of children devote a considerable time on smartphones in their routine lives and this method may have several advantages and disadvantages and I believe the positive impacts of it can outweigh its disadvantages This phenomenon has several compelling reasons which the first and the most of them is that, we live in computer ages and technology is an indispensable part of our modern life, as an evidence: in Corona - virus time the classes of schools were held online and several courses were organized for children remotely ,then children had to promote their knowledge about the function of smartphones, since some of them used these devices for participating in their class.
4.5
band
The graph below shoes the number of overseas visitors to three different areas in a Europian country between 1987 and 2007.
The given chart illustrates the number of people who came from a foreign country to visit places such as the coast, mountains and lakes in a European country from 1987 to 2007.
<4
band
Nowadays, experience is more valued in the workplace than knowledge in many countries. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.
Experience provides practical skills and hands-on approach to problem-solving, which can lead to immediate contributions within a workplace setting on another hand knowledge provides informations,working based on theories and scientific.In this essay i will explor the benefits and disadvantages of considering experenced laborers over the those who have knowledge and without any experience, and i will draw a conclusion. Let us begin by examining the benefits. One significant advantage of giving priority

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Childhood obesity is becoming a severe issue in many nations. This essay will look at some primary causes of this and offer some possible solutions to the problem.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

You have been selected for a training course on computer skills that you cannot attend. WRITE A LETTER TO YOUR EMPLOYER AND SAY Explain how this training course would help you Why won't you be able to attend it Suggest a way to have that training again

You are organizing a conference for your company. Write a letter to a colleague asking him/her to give a presentation during the conference. -Describe what this conference is about -Why you want him/her to give a presentation -Give details about the conference

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

The graph below shoes the number of overseas visitors to three different areas in a Europian country between 1987 and 2007.

Nowadays, experience is more valued in the workplace than knowledge in many countries. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+