A person's worth seems to be judge by appearance and social status more than traditional values of kindness, trust and honour. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#person #judge #appearance #status #values #kindness #trust #honour

It is commonly argued that an individual's worth and dignity are degrading

due to

societal stereotypes and judgement

along with

material possessions, taking over the traditional values of true

beauty

. Personally, I strongly agree with

this

view for a variety of reasons.

To begin

with, how society is defining

beauty

has altered contrastingly from the past. The majority defined

beauty

based on appearance, how they dress, how they look, and appeal to others. Respectively, it fades away the importance of true

beauty

, the

beauty

of the soul. An increasing number of

individuals

search for a partner with demandingly high standards of visual appearance rather than what's underneath their looks, and their characteristics. A recent survey results in approximately 75% of respondents valuing looks over personality.

Furthermore

, the significance of

money

and social status is rapidly rising. Nowadays, many

individuals

define a person's worth

according to

how much earnings they make and can provide.

Money

is often perceived as one of the crucial contributors to a person's dignity. Despite society's effort to enlighten the idea of "gold diggers" referring to

individuals

who take benefit of other's

money

for their personal development as bad, many

individuals

continue to do

this

tendency. Many recent studies conclude that

money

and wealth hampers the traditional value of kindness and trust characteristics. In conclusion, in today 's society, a person's worth is highly judged based on social status and overlooked appearance. In my opinion, traditional values for personality should be seen as more important and valuable than physical properties or looks.

Submitted by yeshomeclass on Tue Dec 26 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction/Conclusion

Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion to outline your views and summarise them effectively, respectively. Your essay possesses these sections, but they could be more defined and impactful. Use the conclusion to succinctly restate your position and key arguments.

Supporting Examples

Work on providing clear and detailed examples to support your main points. Your essay mentions studies and surveys but these are not elaborated upon. Providing specific findings, data, or anecdotal evidence can significantly enhance the persuasiveness of your argument.

Idea Development

Develop your ideas fully to achieve a comprehensive response to the task. While your essay touches on the main themes of the topic, some parts feel glossed over. Expanding upon each point with further explanation or argumentation will create a more complete and satisfying response.

Logical Structure

Organize your essay with a clear logical structure. While your essay has a semblance of order, the coherence of ideas and progression from one point to the next could be smoother. Use paragraphing effectively to structure your essay, and employ linking words and phrases to guide the reader through your argument with ease.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

255 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
In the past, most working people had only one job. However, nowadays, more and more people have more than one job at the same time. What are the reasons for this development? What are the advantages and disadvantages of having more than one job?
In the contemporary era, the phenomenon of individuals holding multiple jobs concurrently has become a significant concern, primarily driven by global inflation and intensified competition. While this shift yields certain benefits, it also entails undeniable drawbacks, as discussed below.
6.5
band
Studying art in school improves students' performance in other subjects, because it is easier for multi-skilled students to learn new things. That's why art should be obligatory in schools. Do you agree or disagree?
It is considered that Studying art helps students to perform in other subjects very well as it gives them the ability to learn more new things. I completely agree with this statement and i think it is extremely important to be included as a subject in school.
6
band
Ensuring that children have regular physical exercise should be the responsibility of parents and therefore schools should not waste valuable school time having sports lessons as part of the curriculum. To what extent do you agree?
Some people argued that the responsibility of enhancing children's physical health should belong to parents. As a result , it is time-consuming to teach sports at school for them instead the other meaningful subjects. In my opinion, I totally disagree with this statement for several reasons.
4
band
some say that children should do unpaid community work, and some say it is not important for their development. How much do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Unpaid community work have purpose for building character and many development for children. While a lot of youngster' on their adolescence are playing games and do other stuff, many believe that they should do unpaid community work. I partly agree with this opinion, but I will discuss both sides of the argument.
6.5
band
Some people think that the government should increase the tax on unhealthy food to encourage people to start eating healthy. Do you agree or disagree?
It is considered that imposing higher taxes on junk foods would allow people to consume healthier foods. However, I strongly believe that this is not the most effective way to solve this.

A person's worth seems to be judge by appearance and social status more than traditional values of kindness, trust and honour. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

In the past, most working people had only one job. However, nowadays, more and more people have more than one job at the same time. What are the reasons for this development? What are the advantages and disadvantages of having more than one job?

Studying art in school improves students' performance in other subjects, because it is easier for multi-skilled students to learn new things. That's why art should be obligatory in schools. Do you agree or disagree?

Ensuring that children have regular physical exercise should be the responsibility of parents and therefore schools should not waste valuable school time having sports lessons as part of the curriculum. To what extent do you agree?

some say that children should do unpaid community work, and some say it is not important for their development. How much do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people think that the government should increase the tax on unhealthy food to encourage people to start eating healthy. Do you agree or disagree?