The growing number of overweight people is putting a strain on the health care system in an effort to deal with the health issues involved. Some people think that the best way to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical education lessons in the school curriculum. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Task 2. Asal
Some
people
believe that school
Correct your spelling
schoolchildren
children
should do their classwork
individually. Other people
believe that sometimes classwork
should be done in small groups
.
Some people
believe that school
Correct your spelling
schoolchildren
children
should do their classwork
individual
. Other Change the word
individually
people
think that when school
children
do their hometasks
in small Correct your spelling
homework
groups
, it will be more effective.
Some people
prefer do
Fix the infinitive
to do
classworks
individually. When Correct your spelling
classwork
class works
people
do their classworks
individually, they will be personality develop. And nobody can disturb them. And Correct your spelling
classwork
class works
school
children
which are do
Change the verb form
do
classwork
individually ideate free. And they do
not afraid of Verb problem
are
do
mistakes. They do not lose your way.
Verb problem
making
On the other
hand
if Add a comma
hand,
schoolchildren
do classwork
in a small
Correct the article-noun agreement
small groups
a small group
groups
, they will not bored. And they have good
time. Add an article
a good
Schoolchildren
make a lot of friends like themselves when they do classwork
together. And they do
not bored Verb problem
are
of
their Change preposition
with
classwork
. They interested
in Add a missing verb
are interested
classworkthe
Correct your spelling
classwork
classwork the
other
way around. They help Change the wording
another
for
each other to learn lessons. Change preposition
apply
That is
why they learn classwork
easily. They can share opinions with each others
. So Change to a singular noun
other
that
more Correct word choice
apply
people
think that classwork
be
done in small Wrong verb form
being
groups
is more effective for schoolchildren
.
In my opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
schoolchildren
need to do classwork
in a small group. The reason is that when they do their classwork
individually they bored fast and they will not want to do their classwork
. But if they do their classwork
with their friends they learn easily and they have good
time too.Add an article
a good
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Introduction
Your introduction does not fully present a clear topic or argument. In IELTS essays, it is important to have a strong introduction that clearly states your position on the topic and briefly outlines the main points you will be discussing.
Logical Structure
There is a lack of proper structure in the essay, which affects its readability and coherence. Remember to organize your essay into clear paragraphs, each with a main idea and supporting sentences.
Introduction & Conclusion
Make sure that your essay has both an introduction and a conclusion. The conclusion should summarize your main points and restate your overall opinion. It is critical for the essay to feel complete.
Main Points & Examples
Use specific examples and clear explanations to support each main point. This strengthens your argument and demonstrates a higher level of understanding of the topic.
Task Response
The essay does not address the prompt accurately - you are required to discuss the impact of an increased number of overweight people on the healthcare system and whether physical education in school is the best solution. This task requires you to state your position clearly and develop your arguments accordingly.
Grammar & Coherence
Work on your sentence structure, grammar, and punctuation to improve clarity and coherence. Proper grammar and sentence construction are essential for effectively communicating your ideas.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.