In many countries today insufficient respect is shown to older people. What do you think may be the reasons for this? What problem might this cause in society?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In recent years, the young are likely to show more disrespect towards the older generation. There are various reasons for children’s
misbehaviors
Change the spelling
misbehaviours
show examples
, and those might spark some issues in our community.
Disrespectful
Add an article
The disrespectful
A disrespectful
show examples
attitude of children to the elderly stems from wide-ranging factors. One prominent contribution to
this
is the lack of proper education. In fact, parents are considerably responsible for
this
since they play a vital role in building children’s characteristics
as well as
personalities.
This
is because of the technological revolution, which significantly helps to improve
human’s
Change noun form
human
show examples
quality of life. The higher quality of life,
however
, contributes to the misconception ingrained in many
parent’s
Change noun form
parents’
show examples
mindset
Change to a plural noun
mindsets
show examples
, and
this
leads them to think that they must bring the most comfort and less strenuous lives than the previous generation. In
this
way, parents accidentally create a sense of aggression and mischievousness. Another reason for
this
is the advanced technology. Owing to the rapid technological proliferation, elderly
people
may find it hard to keep up with
this
change, which often makes children misunderstand that the elderly are totally outdated and unknowledgeable.
This
clearly leads to
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
of respect toward
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
older
people
.
This
trend can provoke some pressing issues in society. One problem
can
Correct pronoun usage
that can
show examples
be seen is the deteriorated morale. The young obviously can not
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
show examples
their duties as a descendant of the older generation, who inherited merits from the indefatigable fight of the previous
people
.
Therefore
, the core value of a person no longer exists, and so does the civilized society. Elderly isolation is
also
another inevitable problem. Some elderly
people
have to struggle to deal with loneliness and empathy from others, which leads to various health problems or even death. In conclusion, the reason for the lack of respect
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
older
people
is
due to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
inappropriate education and advanced technology proliferation.
This
can lead to some serious problems
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
the community
such
as a less civilized society and elderly isolation.
Submitted by lathiquyenlc1 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

introduction conclusion present
Ensure that the introduction clearly addresses the questions and sets up a framework that the rest of the essay will follow. While the introduction and conclusion are present, they could be further strengthened to more precisely outline the essay's structure and summarize the key points more effectively.
logical structure
The essay needs to maintain a logical flow throughout. Paragraphs should follow a clear structure, with a main idea followed by supporting sentences that link back to the main point. Use a range of cohesive devices to ensure the essay 'flows' together and to assist the reader in following the argument's progression. Transitions between ideas and paragraphs should be smooth and logical.
supported main points
Expand on supporting points with relevant details and examples for each of the reasons and problems mentioned. While general statements are made, the essay would benefit from more specific instances illustrating the disrespectful attitudes towards the elderly and clarifying the impacts these attitudes have on society.
complete response
Address all parts of the task thoroughly, which includes discussing reasons for the lack of respect towards older people and the potential problems it can cause in society. The reasons and consequences mentioned in the essay could be explored in greater depth to provide a comprehensive response to the task at hand.
clear comprehensive ideas
Ideas presented in the essay should be expanded upon for clarity and depth. Work on developing more comprehensive explanations for both the reasons behind younger generations' disrespectful attitudes towards the elderly and the consequences these attitudes can have. This will result in a richer, more insightful essay.
relevant specific examples
Incorporate relevant, specific examples to support the points made. References to particular studies, statistical data, or real-world events can strengthen the argument and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the issues being discussed.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • social structures
  • nuclear families
  • extended family
  • intergenerational respect
  • dual-income households
  • technological advancements
  • perception
  • value shifts
  • vigor
  • innovation
  • increased mobility
  • neglected
  • mental health
  • generational divide
  • misunderstandings
  • stereotypes
  • social fabric
  • healthcare strain
  • inadequate care
  • quality of life
What to do next:
Look at other essays: