Nowadays consumers are faced with the advertisements from all kinds of companies. To what extent do you agree that consumers are influenced by advertisements? What measures should be taken to protect them?（媒体）
With the development of technology, almost all consumers are bombarded with a wide
rage
of Correct your spelling
range
advertisements
. Whether it is useful or not, it will cause some unnecessary trouble to
their lives.
Change preposition
in
overall
, I tend to agree with this
view.
It is important to first acknowledge that to let consumers know a variety kinds of advertisements
from supermarkets, online stores, travel agencies and restaurants will have a lot of benefits. It is a directly
way to boost economic development. When new products are launched, individuals will grasp the information Change the word
direct
at
the first time, Change preposition
apply
then
they will cost money to buy something.
Having said that, I tend to believe that having so many various
Correct word choice
apply
advertisements
affect
Correct subject-verb agreement
affects
people
's lives a lot. Firstly
, it will affect the sleeping
quality. If Correct word choice
apply
people
suffered
insomnia Wrong verb form
suffer
last
night, they are taking a nap to catch up on their sleep, the sound of a sudden advertising message on the phone will distract them, it
will make them uncomfortable or have some panic feelings. Correct word choice
and it
Secondly
, by having so much
Change the quantifier
many
adversting
messages, individuals will miss some significant Correct your spelling
advertising
informations
for them, Change the wording
information
pieces of information
then
Correct word choice
and then
the
serious results can be produced.
In terms of possible solutions, there are several measures Correct article usage
apply
can
tackle the problem. One of the most effective methods is to set some rules Correct pronoun usage
that can
to
companies by the government, Change preposition
for
such
as to register
as a member, Change the verb form
registering
people
do not need to bind their emails or mobile phone numbers, then
the companies will have no way to get them connection
, it will largely avoid Replace the word
connected
this
kind of trouble generated. What is more, people
can block all spam to pursue a quiet environment surrounding themselves.
In conclusion, so many advertisements
indeed can be attributed to improve
economic development, Wrong verb form
improving
Correct word choice
and increase
increase
job Wrong verb form
increasing
oppotunities
, but I Correct your spelling
opportunities
still
inclined to think it is largely affect Add a missing verb
am still
people
's normal lives and also
there are ample solutions to Rephrase
apply
this
problem of advertising bombing.Submitted by xueyinggao2023 on
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coherence cohesion
Be sure to maintain a clear logical structure throughout your essay. While an attempt to organize ideas was visible, the transitions between them were sometimes abrupt, making it harder for the reader to follow.
coherence cohesion
Include an introduction and a conclusion to frame your essay, as you have done. However, strengthen your conclusion by summarizing your main points more clearly and relating them back to the question.
coherence cohesion
Support your main points with appropriate details and development. While some arguments were presented, they were often underdeveloped and lacked convincing details and examples.
task achievement
Ensure you have thoroughly addressed all parts of the task. You have addressed the extent of influence that advertisements have on consumers and suggested measures for protection, which is good. However, you could expand on your ideas by giving more detailed reasons, clearer explanations, and well-developed examples.
task achievement
Strive to present clear and comprehensively explored ideas. Some of your ideas were relevant but needed more elaboration to be considered comprehensive. Clarify your arguments and ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea.
task achievement
Use specific examples to substantiate your arguments. You provided some general discussion about the consequences of advertising, but tangible examples to illustrate these points were sparse. Specific examples can significantly enhance your argument's persuasiveness and effectiveness.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.