Nowadays consumers are faced with the advertisements from all kinds of companies. To what extent do you agree that consumers are influenced by advertisements? What measures should be taken to protect them?(媒体)

With the development of technology, almost all consumers are bombarded with a wide
rage
Correct your spelling
range
show examples
of
advertisements
. Whether it is useful or not, it will cause some unnecessary trouble
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
their lives.
overall
, I tend to agree with
this
view. It is important to first acknowledge that to let consumers know a variety kinds of
advertisements
from supermarkets, online stores, travel agencies and restaurants will have a lot of benefits. It is a
directly
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direct
show examples
way to boost economic development. When new products are launched, individuals will grasp the information
at
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apply
show examples
the first time,
then
they will cost money to buy something. Having said that, I tend to believe that having so many
various
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
advertisements
affect
Correct subject-verb agreement
affects
show examples
people
's lives a lot.
Firstly
, it will affect the
sleeping
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apply
show examples
quality. If
people
suffered
Wrong verb form
suffer
show examples
insomnia
last
night, they are taking a nap to catch up on their sleep, the sound of a sudden advertising message on the phone will distract them,
it
Correct word choice
and it
show examples
will make them uncomfortable or have some panic feelings.
Secondly
, by having so
much
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many
show examples
adversting
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advertising
messages, individuals will miss some significant
informations
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information
pieces of information
show examples
for them,
then
Correct word choice
and then
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
serious results can be produced. In terms of possible solutions, there are several measures
can
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that can
show examples
tackle the problem. One of the most effective methods is to set some rules
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
companies by the government,
such
as
to register
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registering
show examples
as a member,
people
do not need to bind their emails or mobile phone numbers,
then
the companies will have no way to get them
connection
Replace the word
connected
show examples
, it will largely avoid
this
kind of trouble generated. What is more,
people
can block all spam to pursue a quiet environment surrounding themselves. In conclusion, so many
advertisements
indeed can be attributed to
improve
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improving
show examples
economic development,
Correct word choice
and increase
show examples
increase
Wrong verb form
increasing
show examples
job
oppotunities
Correct your spelling
opportunities
, but I
still
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am still
show examples
inclined to think it is largely affect
people
's normal lives and
also
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apply
show examples
there are ample solutions to
this
problem of advertising bombing.
Submitted by xueyinggao2023 on

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coherence cohesion
Be sure to maintain a clear logical structure throughout your essay. While an attempt to organize ideas was visible, the transitions between them were sometimes abrupt, making it harder for the reader to follow.
coherence cohesion
Include an introduction and a conclusion to frame your essay, as you have done. However, strengthen your conclusion by summarizing your main points more clearly and relating them back to the question.
coherence cohesion
Support your main points with appropriate details and development. While some arguments were presented, they were often underdeveloped and lacked convincing details and examples.
task achievement
Ensure you have thoroughly addressed all parts of the task. You have addressed the extent of influence that advertisements have on consumers and suggested measures for protection, which is good. However, you could expand on your ideas by giving more detailed reasons, clearer explanations, and well-developed examples.
task achievement
Strive to present clear and comprehensively explored ideas. Some of your ideas were relevant but needed more elaboration to be considered comprehensive. Clarify your arguments and ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea.
task achievement
Use specific examples to substantiate your arguments. You provided some general discussion about the consequences of advertising, but tangible examples to illustrate these points were sparse. Specific examples can significantly enhance your argument's persuasiveness and effectiveness.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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