The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane.

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The diagram illustrates how

sugar

Use synonyms

is manufactured from

sugarcane

Use synonyms

Overall

Linking Words

, the process of making

sugar

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consists of 7 steps with 3 major steps namely farming, separating, and drying.

Change the preposition

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the beginning of

farming

Add an article

the farming

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process,

sugarcane

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needs to be planted and it will take between 12 to 18 months until it is ready to be harvested. There

Change the verb form

are

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two ways to harvest it, either manually pick it up by hand or using a specially designed tractor to pick up the

sugarcane

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. The next process step is to separate its juice from

sugarcane

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by crushing it into a machine. Afterwards,

limestone

Correct article usage

a limestone

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filter is used to purify the juice. The drying procedure starts with cooking the juice in

the

Correct article usage

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high heat temperature to turn it into a syrup.

Subsequently

Linking Words

, a

sugar

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crystal will be separated from the syrup using a centrifuge. In the end, the

sugar

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will

needed

Wrong verb form

need

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to be dry and cool first before used.

buttercookies28 Sat Nov 25 2023

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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words sugar, sugarcane with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.

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Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.

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2
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

153 words

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The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane.

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadventages?

It is widely believed that children of different levels of intelligence should be taught together, while others think that more intelligent children should be taught separately. Discuss and present your opinion.

more and more people want to move to big cities. why is that ? what extent is the good trend?

after Completing High School and Before Going to College or university, some students take a year off either to work or travel. What do you think is better – travelling or working. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of both approaches.