IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

73.The map below shows a park and its surroundings in 2000. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

73.The map below shows a park and its surroundings in 2000. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
the given map depicts information about the park which made changes to its
surrounding
Fix the agreement mistake
surroundings
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 in the year
of
Change preposition
apply
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2000 after analysis, the park had two entrance gates in the
Correct your spelling
year
heart
years
yeart
Correct your spelling
year
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
1980 which
is
Verb problem
have
show examples
 now demolished and made
road
Fix the agreement mistake
roads
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 for the public after that, pointing to right hand of the front gate there was
huge
Add an article
a huge
show examples
area
Use synonyms
 for flowers of different kinds but now, it is replaced by playground for toddlers and children to play in that
area
Use synonyms
besides
Linking Words
 that, trees
area
Use synonyms
 which were next to flowers
area
Use synonyms
 has now been replicated and made room for chair desk and barbecue for the families to enjoy their meal
furthermore
Linking Words
, from the other entrance gate next to it, there was
huge
Correct article usage
a huge
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 pond surrounded by three benches now,
additional
Correct article usage
an additional
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 bench is added to it for
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
 sitting
area
Use synonyms
moreover
Linking Words
, bushes
Correct your spelling
substitute
subtitute
Correct your spelling
substitute
 flowers
area
Use synonyms
 which was close to
pond
Add an article
the pond
a pond
show examples
area
Use synonyms
overall
Linking Words
, it is clearly manifested that a tremendous heap of changes has been done over the year but trees and pond
area
Use synonyms
 has seen
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
minimal changes

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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words area with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • pond
  • northwest corner
  • large central open area
  • residential areas
  • community-oriented space
  • playground
  • eastern border
  • parking lot
  • convenience
  • commercial zone
  • amenities
  • walking path
  • encircles
  • joggers
  • accessible
  • entrances
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