IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the total number of minutes (in billions) of telephone calls in the UK, divided into three categories, from 1995-2002.

The chart below shows the total number of minutes (in billions) of telephone calls in the UK, divided into three categories, from 1995-2002.
#minutes #billions #telephone #uk #three #categories
The chart provides information about the
overall
number
 of minutes of mobile phone calls in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Great Britain, divided into three categories
such
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
as Local-fixed
line
, National and international-fixed
line
,
Correct word choice
and Mobiles
show examples
Mobiles
Fix the agreement mistake
mobile
show examples
(all calls), between 1995
to
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 2002. It can be seen that
Local-fixed
Replace the word
the local fixed
show examples
line
 had a considerable rise from 1995 to 1999, followed by a slight decrease from 90 to 74.
However
, the Local-fixed
line
 had the highest
calls
Correct quantifier usage
number of calls
show examples
 among all other categories.
In addition
, the total
number
 of minutes was equal to 78 in 1996 and 2001.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
 the other hand, both
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
National and
International-fixed
Correct your spelling
International
show examples
line
Fix the agreement mistake
lines
show examples
 and Mobiles(all calls) experienced
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
significant growth in the
last
 years. The
overall
number
 of minutes increased by 36 from 55 to 61 in National-International
fixed
Add a hyphen
fixed-line
show examples
line
 telephone calls.
Moreover
, Mobiles(all calls)
used
Add a missing verb
are used
show examples
 much less than
Correct article usage
the National-International-fixed
show examples
National-International-fixed
Correct your spelling
International
show examples
line
Fix the agreement mistake
lines
show examples
. The
number
 of
former
Correct article usage
the former
show examples
 was 45
whereas
 the quantity of
latter
Correct article usage
the latter
show examples
 was equal to 62.
Submitted by dnm.best on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words number, line with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • total number
  • minutes
  • telephone calls
  • UK
  • divided into
  • categories
  • from
  • to
  • overall
  • increased significantly
  • local fixed-line calls
  • accounted for
  • largest proportion
  • throughout
  • period
  • international calls
  • highest rate of growth
  • experiencing
  • sharp increase
  • national long-distance calls
  • remained relatively stable
  • slight decline
  • towards
  • end
What to do next:
Look at other essays: