将来的には、より多くの人々が自分の国で休暇に行き、休暇で海外旅行をしないことを選ぶでしょう。同意しますが、同意しませんか？あなたの答えの理由を与え、あなた自身の知識や経験から関連する例を含めてください。少なくとも250語で書いてください

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First,

Linking Words

the effects of globalization will continue and the world will become increasingly interconnected.

As a result

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, people will become more interested in other countries' cultures and landscapes. Increased international demand for

travel

Use synonyms

For example

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travel

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to regions

such

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as Asia and South America will increase during air

travel

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routes.

Second,

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travel

Use synonyms

with greater international access

due to

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economic growth, especially in emerging economies. As incomes rise, more and more people will have the opportunity to

travel

Use synonyms

internationally. In China and India,

for example

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, the growth of the middle class has led to a rapid increase in the number of tourists

traveling

Change the spelling

travelling

show examples

to foreign destinations.

Third,

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technological advances make internationalization easier to

travel

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. Popular online

travel

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booking sites and apps make

travel

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more affordable and easier to plan.

This

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travel

Use synonyms

makes international planning easier for individuals.

Additionally

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, the nature of the international community may change

due to

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increased environmental awareness. Ecotourism and cultural exchange opportunities offer new and exciting possibilities for international

travel

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. In conclusion, globalization, economic growth, and technological advances have increased international demand for

travel

Use synonyms

. These factors allow people to experience foreign countries in different ways.

Submitted by chisae112 on Sat Nov 25 2023

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coherence cohesion

To enhance the logical structure of your essay, it's essential to create clear connections between ideas. Your paragraphs should have clear topic sentences and subsequent sentences should support and develop these ideas in a logical sequence. Transitions and conjunctions need to be used effectively to guide the reader through your arguments.

coherence cohesion

Your essay must include an introduction and conclusion to frame the discussion properly. The introduction should present the topic and your thesis statement, while the conclusion should summarize the main points and restate your position clearly. Both elements were lacking or insufficiently developed in your essay.

coherence cohesion

Support your main points with specific examples and explanations. Instead of general statements, give concrete details or real-life instances that demonstrate your arguments. Your essay contained very few specific examples to substantiate the claims made, and this weakened the overall impact.

task achievement

Ensure that the essay fully addresses the question by presenting a clear position and extending your response to cover all parts of the prompt. Your essay did not adequately reflect the given statement or your agreement or disagreement with it, which is critical to meeting the task requirements.

task achievement

Develop clear and comprehensive ideas throughout the essay. Each paragraph should explore a single main idea in depth, rather than skimming over multiple ideas superficially. This will demonstrate your ability to discuss concepts in detail and will make your essay more persuasive.

task achievement

Incorporate relevant and specific examples that are directly connected to the task. These should come from your own knowledge or experience where appropriate, and should be used to strengthen your arguments. The use of specific examples in your essay was limited, affecting the overall task achievement.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

188 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

bilingual
multilingual
fluency
communicate
cognitive skills
cultural awareness
opportunities
globalized world
job market
interact
linguistic abilities
cultural exchange
language proficiency
language barrier
foreign travel
personal growth
academic achievement
self-confidence
enhance
cross-cultural communication

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Fully explain your ideas

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Some people think that success in life coms from hard work and determination, while others think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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