IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

People are against the legalization of euthanasia while other people support it. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #legalization #euthanasia #support
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A lot of
people
Use synonyms
 disagree that euthanasia should be legalized. Others believe that putting
people
Use synonyms
 to sleep at a certain stage might have some advantages,
thus
Linking Words
 they agree with it. In my opinion, I stand with the idea of euthanizing
people
Use synonyms
 and I think it should be allowed by the government. Euthanizing
people
Use synonyms
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
often get
negative
Add an article
a negative
show examples
 response because it is unnatural and hardly contradictive. Many
people
Use synonyms
 think that death is something that
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
 cannot decide. It is
againts
Correct your spelling
against
 the rule to take other
people
Use synonyms
's
Use synonyms
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
 just based on their health conditions. It is
also
Linking Words
 not
allign
Correct your spelling
aligned
 with the norms and
habbits
Correct your spelling
habits
 most
people
Use synonyms
 believe in their
life
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.
In addition
Linking Words
, it is
also
Linking Words
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
contrary
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 some religions, where they take euthanizing
people
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 is the same as killing
people
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.
However
Linking Words
, other
people
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 think that euthanizing
people
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 might end the suffering, as most of the patients to be euthanized are often in their final stage. The patients are usually using
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
life
Use synonyms
 support
such
Linking Words
 as
Correct article usage
a ventilator
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ventilator
Correct article usage
a ventilator
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,
Correct word choice
which
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where
Correct word choice
which
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 they cannot breathe without
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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and
thus
Linking Words
 they cannot live a normal
life
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. When a doctor ends their
life
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, it is like freeing them from pain that they used to hold for a long time.
Moreover
Linking Words
, when patients are in their terminal stage, families are
also
Linking Words
 depressed and do not want to see their loved
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
show examples
 in pain. It is understandable for them to choose
letting
Change the verb form
to let
show examples
 their loved one go by putting them to sleep. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 there are lots of
people
Use synonyms
 who oppose euthanasia, I believe that euthanasia has a view of advantages
which
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 I think it should be legal.
Submitted by nadillamntr on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea, supported by relevant examples or arguments. The essay lacks specific examples and detailed reasoning to support its main points, which could strengthen the argument.
coherence cohesion
While the essay does have an introduction and conclusion, the introductory paragraph could be more explicit in outlining the scope of the discussion. The concluding paragraph should more clearly reflect upon the points made in the body to concisely encapsulate your own stance.
task achievement
Your task achievement shows you understand the basic requirements of the essay by discussing both views and providing an opinion. However, develop your ideas further and provide more specific examples or data to substantiate your claims, which would convey a more complete response.
task achievement
The ideas are somewhat clear, but they could be more comprehensive. Offering a deeper examination of the arguments for and against euthanasia, and addressing potential counterarguments, would demonstrate a more thorough understanding of the subject matter.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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