People are against the legalization of euthanasia while other people support it. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

A lot of
people
disagree that euthanasia should be legalized. Others believe that putting
people
to sleep at a certain stage might have some advantages,
thus
they agree with it. In my opinion, I stand with the idea of euthanizing
people
and I think it should be allowed by the government. Euthanizing
people
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
often get
negative
Add an article
a negative
show examples
response because it is unnatural and hardly contradictive. Many
people
think that death is something that
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
cannot decide. It is
againts
Correct your spelling
against
the rule to take other
people
's
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
just based on their health conditions. It is
also
not
allign
Correct your spelling
aligned
with the norms and
habbits
Correct your spelling
habits
most
people
believe in their
life
.
In addition
, it is
also
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
contrary
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
some religions, where they take euthanizing
people
is the same as killing
people
.
However
, other
people
think that euthanizing
people
might end the suffering, as most of the patients to be euthanized are often in their final stage. The patients are usually using
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
life
support
such
as
Correct article usage
a ventilator
show examples
ventilator
Correct article usage
a ventilator
show examples
,
Correct word choice
which
show examples
where
Correct word choice
which
show examples
they cannot breathe without
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
and
thus
they cannot live a normal
life
. When a doctor ends their
life
, it is like freeing them from pain that they used to hold for a long time.
Moreover
, when patients are in their terminal stage, families are
also
depressed and do not want to see their loved
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
show examples
in pain. It is understandable for them to choose
letting
Change the verb form
to let
show examples
their loved one go by putting them to sleep. In conclusion,
although
there are lots of
people
who oppose euthanasia, I believe that euthanasia has a view of advantages
which
Correct word choice
and
show examples
I think it should be legal.
Submitted by nadillamntr on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea, supported by relevant examples or arguments. The essay lacks specific examples and detailed reasoning to support its main points, which could strengthen the argument.
coherence cohesion
While the essay does have an introduction and conclusion, the introductory paragraph could be more explicit in outlining the scope of the discussion. The concluding paragraph should more clearly reflect upon the points made in the body to concisely encapsulate your own stance.
task achievement
Your task achievement shows you understand the basic requirements of the essay by discussing both views and providing an opinion. However, develop your ideas further and provide more specific examples or data to substantiate your claims, which would convey a more complete response.
task achievement
The ideas are somewhat clear, but they could be more comprehensive. Offering a deeper examination of the arguments for and against euthanasia, and addressing potential counterarguments, would demonstrate a more thorough understanding of the subject matter.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: