Sports - It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sport or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. (IELTS 7, AC)

Talents
play a crucial role in
people
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people's
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lives. Some people claim that few folks are born with some superpower naturally like
music
and sports.
Although
, others argue that any toddler could be a better
athlets
Correct your spelling
athlete
athletes
and
composers
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composer
show examples
through learning. In my opinion, about that, I strongly believe the former opinion and
this
essay will discuss it briefly
for
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in
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the upcoming paragraphs. On the one hand, skills are
gotten from
Verb problem
obtained
show examples
naturally by some people. They do not need to learn these kinds of powers, they can
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
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effortlessly
to
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apply
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attract everybody; some
athlets
Correct your spelling
athletes
have more
talents
and they have achieved more
and
Correct word choice
apply
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world
record
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records
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too which means they have
superpower
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superpowers
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by born.
For instance
, one of the
world
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world's
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best
cricketer
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cricketers
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Mr.
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Mr
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Sachin Tendulkar has achieved and did
a
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apply
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plenty of world records, he was a lion when he was playing ground but he started with his sports
carrer
Correct your spelling
career
in childhood period and he did not go to any cricket academy to enhance his
talents
due to
he has naturally.
Therefore
,
skilled
Add an article
the skilled
a skilled
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person
can do effortlessly what
talents
he has.
On the other hand
, these kinds of superpowers can be learnt through practice and
this
is not a big trouble. Any child can become a talented
person
by learning about what he wants to
showup
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show
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to others
such
as musicians or
athlets
Correct your spelling
athletes
; if
a
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an
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infant
go
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goes
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to
the
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apply
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music
class to learn about
music
, she will
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
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learnt
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learn
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each and every
notes
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note
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about
music
and how to hold a breathe more times.
For example
, the great Indian
kollywood
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Kollywood
Bollywood
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singer SPB was not a born talented
kids
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kid
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then
Rephrase
apply
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he
had
Verb problem
was
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more interested in
music
,
he
Rephrase
so he
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had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
atteneded
Correct your spelling
attended
a
music
class to learn
music
.
Thus
, everyone can be converted
a
Change preposition
into a
show examples
talent
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talented
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person
after learning
a
Correct article usage
apply
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proper practice.
To conclude
, everybody
have
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has
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any
Correct determiner usage
a
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special fortune in their lives. Some
has
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have
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good talent with born and they do not need any special training to do that.
Nevertheless
,
talents
are
gotten
Verb problem
obtained
show examples
easily from proper training and practice, anyone can be a talented guy by learning. In my
opininon
Correct your spelling
opinion
, about
this
, I strongly believe that any kid can be a skilled
person
after getting proper
traning
Correct your spelling
training
and learning.
Submitted by reanudeepan on

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Coherence and Cohesion
The essay lacks a clear and logical structure, causing confusion in the development of the argument. It is vital to have a clear position throughout and ensure each paragraph adheres to a single main idea that is well-developed and linked back to the question.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that the introduction and conclusion are clearly identifiable, present the thesis statement and summarise the main points of the essay. These sections should encapsulate the main argument and link back to the question, providing a resolution or a personal standpoint that reflects the content discussed.
Coherence and Cohesion
Main points are mentioned but lack thorough support and development. Each paragraph should explore a single idea in depth, with clear examples and explanations that relate directly to the question. Avoid generalisations and strive for specifics that reinforce the argument.
Task Achievement
Your response needs to address all parts of the task fully. This means discussing both views presented in the prompt and providing a clear personal opinion. Ensure that the response is complete and that all aspects of the task are covered.
Task Achievement
Ideas put forth in the essay should be clearly presented and expanded upon to ensure comprehensibility. Work on elaborating ideas further and providing clearer explanations as to how they relate to the thesis and overall argument.
Task Achievement
Relevant and specific examples are important for supporting your points, yet the essay tends to make statements that are either too general or loosely connected to the question. Strive to include more targeted examples that directly support and exemplify the main points made in relation to the topic.

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