Sports - It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sport or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. (IELTS 7, AC)
Talents
play a crucial role in people
lives. Some people claim that few folks are born with some superpower naturally like Change noun form
people's
music
and sports. Although
, others argue that any toddler could be a better athlets
and Correct your spelling
athlete
athletes
composers
through learning. In my opinion, about that, I strongly believe the former opinion and Fix the agreement mistake
composer
this
essay will discuss it briefly for
the upcoming paragraphs.
On the one hand, skills are Change preposition
in
gotten from
naturally by some people. They do not need to learn these kinds of powers, they can Verb problem
obtained
do
effortlessly Unnecessary verb
apply
to
attract everybody; some Fix the infinitive
apply
athlets
have more Correct your spelling
athletes
talents
and they have achieved more and
world Correct word choice
apply
record
too which means they have Fix the agreement mistake
records
superpower
by born. Fix the agreement mistake
superpowers
For instance
, one of the world
best Change noun form
world's
cricketer
Fix the agreement mistake
cricketers
Mr.
Sachin Tendulkar has achieved and did Change the punctuation
Mr
a
plenty of world records, he was a lion when he was playing ground but he started with his sports Remove the article
apply
carrer
in childhood period and he did not go to any cricket academy to enhance his Correct your spelling
career
talents
due to
he has naturally. Therefore
, skilled
Add an article
the skilled
a skilled
person
can do effortlessly what talents
he has.
On the other hand
, these kinds of superpowers can be learnt through practice and this
is not a big trouble. Any child can become a talented person
by learning about what he wants to showup
to others Correct your spelling
show
such
as musicians or athlets
; if Correct your spelling
athletes
a
infant Change the article
an
go
to Change the verb form
goes
the
Correct article usage
apply
music
class to learn about music
, she will be
Unnecessary verb
apply
learnt
each and every Correct your spelling
learn
notes
about Fix the agreement mistake
note
music
and how to hold a breathe more times. For example
, the great Indian kollywood
singer SPB was not a born talented Change the capitalization
Kollywood
Bollywood
kids
Correct the article-noun agreement
kid
then
he Rephrase
apply
had
more interested in Verb problem
was
music
, he
Rephrase
so he
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
atteneded
a Correct your spelling
attended
music
class to learn music
. Thus
, everyone can be converted a
Change preposition
into a
talent
Replace the word
talented
person
after learning a
proper practice.
Correct article usage
apply
To conclude
, everybody have
Change the verb form
has
any
special fortune in their lives. Some Correct determiner usage
a
has
good talent with born and they do not need any special training to do that. Change the verb form
have
Nevertheless
, talents
are gotten
easily from proper training and practice, anyone can be a talented guy by learning. In my Verb problem
obtained
opininon
, about Correct your spelling
opinion
this
, I strongly believe that any kid can be a skilled person
after getting proper traning
and learning.Correct your spelling
training
Submitted by reanudeepan on
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Coherence and Cohesion
The essay lacks a clear and logical structure, causing confusion in the development of the argument. It is vital to have a clear position throughout and ensure each paragraph adheres to a single main idea that is well-developed and linked back to the question.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that the introduction and conclusion are clearly identifiable, present the thesis statement and summarise the main points of the essay. These sections should encapsulate the main argument and link back to the question, providing a resolution or a personal standpoint that reflects the content discussed.
Coherence and Cohesion
Main points are mentioned but lack thorough support and development. Each paragraph should explore a single idea in depth, with clear examples and explanations that relate directly to the question. Avoid generalisations and strive for specifics that reinforce the argument.
Task Achievement
Your response needs to address all parts of the task fully. This means discussing both views presented in the prompt and providing a clear personal opinion. Ensure that the response is complete and that all aspects of the task are covered.
Task Achievement
Ideas put forth in the essay should be clearly presented and expanded upon to ensure comprehensibility. Work on elaborating ideas further and providing clearer explanations as to how they relate to the thesis and overall argument.
Task Achievement
Relevant and specific examples are important for supporting your points, yet the essay tends to make statements that are either too general or loosely connected to the question. Strive to include more targeted examples that directly support and exemplify the main points made in relation to the topic.