Some parents think it is good to give their children mobile phones while others disagree. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.
Many
parents
argue that children
can have mobile phones
, while
others believe they cannot. This
essay will discuss both views and give the writer’s opinion.
To begin
with, parents
believe that children
should be allowed to have a mobile phone
. Because it can be used as a communication tool when they are not around. In addition
, a mobile phone
/smart
Correct your spelling
smartphone
phone
plays crucial
Correct article usage
a crucial
rules
Correct your spelling
role
to support
Change preposition
in supporting
children
’s education in the
school. Correct article usage
apply
For instance
, a lot of schools use
Google Classroom as one of their studies
methods. They Change the noun form
study
use
it to share study materials and collect students’ homework. Moreover
, a smartphone offers variety
Correct article usage
a variety
useful
applications, Change preposition
of useful
such
as language application that can help children
to learn about foreign languages and online transports application
which makes it easier to travel to their school. Fix the agreement mistake
transport applications
Thus
, allowing children
to have a mobile phone
gives a lot of benefits.
On the other hand
, despite the mentioned benefits, parents
think that children
should be banned to
Change preposition
from using
use
a smartphone. The main reason is because it can be addictive to them. For example
, children
will use
the mobile phone
all day without having rest. This
can lead to negative health problems, such
as eyesore
, Fix the agreement mistake
eyesores
backpain
, etc. Correct your spelling
back pain
Furthermore
, smart
Correct your spelling
smartphones- with
phones
-with the support of the internet- give children
access to the
information that Correct article usage
apply
are
not for them. Change the verb form
is
For instance
, adult contents
and gambling sites Fix the agreement mistake
content
that
will suddenly pop up Correct pronoun usage
apply
while
they are opening websites. Thus
, parents
have to monitor their children
when using mobile phones
.
In conclusion, I believe that mobile phones
should be given to children
. Because
Correct word choice
Phones
phones
give several advantages, such
as for communication, study, and transportation tools. However
, the usage of mobile phones
for children
should be limited because it can lead to several health problems and there are a lot of contents that are not suitable for children
.Submitted by jxnxy01 on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that the introductory paragraph clearly addresses the task prompt by stating both sides of the argument and indicating what your subsequent discussion will entail.
coherence cohesion
Create clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph that directly correspond to your overall thesis, ensuring that these sentences guide the reader through your argument.
task achievement
Include an explicit thesis statement in your introduction that makes your personal stance clear, and reinforce this stance in the conclusion with a brief summary of your main points.
task achievement
Expand the conclusion to not only restate your opinion but also to synthesize the arguments discussed, leaving the reader with a clear understanding of your perspective on the issue.
task achievement
When presenting arguments, ensure that you include specific examples to support each point. Additionally, you should explain how these examples relate to the topic and contribute to your overall argument.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?