At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?
Nowadays,
young
Correct article usage
the young
adults'
Change noun form
adults
population
Use synonyms
of
some countries is more than Change preposition
in
older
people Correct article usage
the older
population
. There are both pros and cons Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
to
this
, as I will outline in Linking Words
this
essay. Linking Words
Finally
, I represent my viewpoint. Linking Words
To begin
with, Linking Words
Use synonyms
youth
Add an article
the youth
population
is the main wealth of a Use synonyms
country
. Use synonyms
The
Correct article usage
A
more
Correct word choice
larger
youth
Use synonyms
population
means more wealth Use synonyms
of
a Change preposition
for
country
. Use synonyms
However
, having capital does not provide success for Linking Words
Use synonyms
country
unless using Correct article usage
a country
them
by education and enabling Correct pronoun usage
it
them
to use Correct pronoun usage
it
their
potential in organizations and industries. As Correct pronoun usage
its
workforce
is the most valuable capital of an organization which is supplied by youths, cycles of industries and organizations move by young men and women who look for progress and income Add an article
the workforce
for making
a living. Providing educational opportunities for employees and workers is a means of development in human resources which leads to efficiency in that organization. Change preposition
to make
Secondly
, Linking Words
protection
of Correct article usage
the protection
security
of a Add an article
the security
country
is in the hands of Use synonyms
Use synonyms
youth
Add an article
the youth
population
. Boundaries of all countries are protected by Use synonyms
youth
military force. Use synonyms
Consequently
, Linking Words
lack
of enough Correct article usage
the lack
youth
Use synonyms
population
puts countries at risk. Use synonyms
On the other hand
, managers of a Linking Words
country
must provide a significant budget for Use synonyms
education
of Correct article usage
the education
Use synonyms
youth
Correct article usage
the youth
population
to make them ready Use synonyms
in
different scientific or technical aspects. Change preposition
for
For example
, providing equipment Linking Words
of
schools and universities, building different new schools, Change preposition
for
infrastructures
Correct word choice
and infrastructures
of
providing electricity, water lines, Change preposition
apply
telephone
services, Correct word choice
and telephone
requires
Correct subject-verb agreement
require
high
amount of budget to expend. Add an article
a high
To sum up
, Linking Words
advantages
of Correct article usage
the advantages
large
number of young adults Change the article
a large
the large
compares
with the number of older people outweigh the disadvantages.Wrong verb form
compared
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Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure your essay has a clear structure with distinct introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Your introduction should state the topic and your stance clearly, while the body should present arguments systematically, and the conclusion should summarize the essay effectively.
Coherence & Cohesion
Expand your main points with relevant details and examples. Each paragraph should contain one clear main idea, supported by appropriate examples or explanations.
Task Achievement
Fully develop your ideas and take the time to explain how they relate to the topic. Avoid general statements and focus on providing thoughtful insights and analysis.
Task Achievement
Use specific examples to support your arguments. Whenever you state an advantage or disadvantage, include a detailed example for clarity and to strengthen your point.
Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.
A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).
Stick to this essay structure:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion