It is often said that retirement is the happiest time of one's life. How far do you agree or disagree with this view ?

#retirement #time #life

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Many

people

Use synonyms

argue that retirement is the happiest

time

Use synonyms

in the entire of somebody's

life

Use synonyms

because we are not supposed to work anymore and

able

Add a missing verb

be able

show examples

to spend more

time

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with loved ones.

However

Linking Words

, I do not support the same argument because measuring someone's

happiness

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bias

Wrong verb form

biased

show examples

subjective

Correct word choice

and subjective

show examples

and can have very different

meaning

Fix the agreement mistake

meanings

show examples

to one another. For each

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people

Fix the agreement mistake

person

show examples

happiness

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almost have

entire

Change the adjective

entirely

show examples

different meaning and it depends on

ones'

Change noun form

one's

show examples

personalities

Fix the agreement mistake

personality

show examples

and personal

backgrounds

Fix the agreement mistake

background

show examples

. For some

people

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, having

abundance

Correct article usage

an abundance

show examples

wealth

Change preposition

of wealth

show examples

and being rich are often said can be the happiest moment of all

time

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because we can afford and buy things that some

people

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may not have.

On the contrary

Linking Words

, spending more

time

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with family members even

they

Correct word choice

if they

show examples

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

lack

Change preposition

apply

show examples

money possession

also

Linking Words

can be the happiest

time

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of somebody's

life

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. From

two

Correct article usage

the two

show examples

forementioned

Correct your spelling

aforementioned

show examples

examples,

it is clear that

Linking Words

the definition of

happiness

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is not the same for each

Use synonyms

people

Fix the agreement mistake

person

show examples

. It is true,

for

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that

show examples

some elders who spent their decades working might enjoy

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

retirement because they feel having enough

saving

Fix the agreement mistake

savings

show examples

and

healthy

Correct article usage

a healthy

show examples

body for the rest of their

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life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

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until death.

However

Linking Words

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

many

people

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are not in the same situation as

Change the article

the previous

show examples

case. They may have

hardship

Fix the agreement mistake

hardships

show examples

and difficult moments so

that

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

they have to spend more years

to work

Change the verb form

working

show examples

even

Correct word choice

if it

show examples

time

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for them to retire.

People

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in underdeveloped countries,

for instance

Linking Words

, cannot entirely enjoy their retirement days because there is

family

Correct article usage

a family

show examples

at home to

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

feed and they have to keep working each day. Despite the case, they still can be the happiest person

due to

Linking Words

the reason they live for the sake of loved ones. In conclusion,

happiness

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is quite difficult to measure let alone measuring which moment in someone's

life

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can be the happiest

time

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. It

is varying on

Wrong verb form

varies for

show examples

each

Use synonyms

people

Fix the agreement mistake

person

show examples

, and

depending

Wrong verb form

depends

show examples

on their personalities and

life

Use synonyms

backgrounds.

Submitted by pedrothedawn on Sat Nov 25 2023

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task achievement

Expand upon your main points with more developed and specific examples to better support your argument. Including anecdotes or citing studies would make your essay more compelling.

coherence cohesion

Creative use of a broader vocabulary and varied sentence structures would improve the readability and sophistication of your essay.

task achievement

Ensure that your main ideas are not only clear but are also fully elaborated to give your essay greater depth and clarity.

coherence cohesion

The logical structure is generally good, but work to create smoother transitions between ideas. Phrases that clearly signal your progression from one idea to the next would aid in coherence.

coherence cohesion

Always proofread your essay to avoid grammatical errors. Even minor errors can distract from the overall quality and reduce the professionalism of your writing.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
33
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

307 words

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It is often said that retirement is the happiest time of one's life. How far do you agree or disagree with this view ?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

In many countries women no longer feel the need to get married. Some people believe that this is because women are able to earn their own income and therefore do not require the financial security that marriage can bring. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In today's globalized world, people from different cultures often come into contact with each other. How do cultural differences affect commucation? What can be done to improve cross-cultural communication?

Governments should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people think that sport is very important for society. Others, however, argue that it is nothing more than a leisure activity. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.