In Some Countries An Increasing Number Of People Are Suffering From Health Problems As A Result Of Eating Too Much Fast Food
A large number of
people
had been
eaten simple Unnecessary verb
apply
food
in the past, however
, they remained healthy. Thence
, the introduction of Correct your spelling
Since
junk
food
many people
are liked
to eat. Now It has been eating Wrong verb form
like
junk
food
and they are facing issues regarding health. They perfer
to eat instant Correct your spelling
prefer
food
because it is easier for them. This
essay will elaborate further
in the following paragraphs.
In the contemporary world, especially
Rephrase
apply
Change preposition
in foreign
foreign
nations are Change preposition
in foreign
loved
to eat processed Wrong verb form
love
food
because they think that it helps to cook early. Besides
this
, junk
food
is easy to cook and time
saver. Technology has become dull to Correct article usage
a time
people
so they do not want to make food
at home. It also
develops new applications to order instant meal
at Fix the agreement mistake
meals
anytime
. Replace the word
any time
Although
, the dangerous effects Change preposition
Despite
in
the Change preposition
on
body
people
is
not aware of it. Many Change the verb form
are
people
are affected from
Change preposition
by
this
contaminated food
and became
sick. Wrong verb form
become
According to
study
Correct article usage
a study
junk
food
leads Change preposition
to obsiety
obsiety
, cardiovascular and diabetes and Correct your spelling
obesity
people
are suffering from these problems. Therefore
, it can make weak your brain and non-functional. Eating too much instant food
affects you physical
and mentally. Change the word
physically
Moreover
, these saturated food
Fix the agreement mistake
foods
are
consume Unnecessary verb
apply
body's
energy and deserts Correct article usage
the body's
also
decay in the teeth. The soil erosion of
cutting down plants for many fast Change preposition
from
food
industries also
leads in
Change preposition
to
consumption
of paper and waste production for packaging purposes. Correct article usage
the consumption
Consequently
, fast food
is not only disturbing the
humanity but Correct article usage
apply
also
affect on
the environment.
Wrong verb form
affecting
On the contrary
, if pupils reduce fast food
they can remain active and fit. Some changes can apply of
eating Change preposition
to
habit
with Fix the agreement mistake
habits
nutritious
diet. The small plate with Add an article
a nutritious
variety
of nutrition diet can help to consume Add an article
a variety
vitaminls
, minerals and fibres which Correct your spelling
vitamins
need
Wrong verb form
are needed
to
your Change preposition
for
body
. Eating whole grain
foods Add a hyphen
whole-grain
such
as whole-wheat bread will help you avoid processed grains high in empty carbohydrates. Switch to fat free
or Add a hyphen
fat-free
low fat
milk contains the same amount of calcium. Drink water Add a hyphen
low-fat
instead
of frizzy drinks which harmful
Add a missing verb
are harmful
your
Change preposition
to your
body
try to add lemon slice
Fix the agreement mistake
slices
into
the water. These steps are being followed by Change preposition
to
healthy
diet.
In a nutshell, Add an article
a healthy
due to
rapid
increase Correct article usage
the rapid
of
eating fast Change preposition
in
food
a large number of folks are becoming ill because they are not aware of harmful
effects of fatty foods. If they Correct article usage
the harmful
discourge
Correct your spelling
discourage
these
Change the determiner
this food
food
so they will get healthy life.Submitted by mobinadurrani43 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has issues with logical structure, as the argument is not consistently developed throughout the essay. Ideas should be presented in a more organized manner, with clear transitions between points.
Coherence and Cohesion
While the introduction and conclusion are present, their quality could be enhanced by clearly stating the topic and summarizing the main points more effectively.
Coherence and Cohesion
Main points are loosely supported, and could benefit from stronger evidence and more detailed examples. Be sure to expand on key ideas with specific information and analysis.
Task Achievement
While the essay addresses the topic, the response could be more complete by fully answering all parts of the question with a more thorough exploration of the causes and consequences of eating fast food.
Task Achievement
The overall clarity of ideas can be improved by working on the essay's structure and making sure that each paragraph has a clear main idea that is expanded upon. Use precise language and logical reasoning.
Task Achievement
Use more relevant and specific examples to reinforce your arguments. These examples should directly support the point you are trying to make and be clearly relevant to the question.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic
Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.
You essay structure should look something like this:
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – Problems
- Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- One of the first problems of the...
- Another problem that needs to be considered...
- A possible solution to this problem would be...
- One immediate practical solution is to...