It is sometimes said that modern technology brings people more free time. However, some people say that instead technology is making people even busier. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

#technology #people #time

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Technology

Use synonyms

has taken over our

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

and

Correct pronoun usage

its

show examples

traces have become more obvious after the invention of modern

technology

Use synonyms

. Some people believe that sophisticated

technology

Use synonyms

makes us have more spare

time

Use synonyms

. Others,

however

Linking Words

, are of the opinion that

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

technology

Use synonyms

causes people more busier.

This

Linking Words

essay will discuss both views and provide my personal opinion. On the one hand, it is argued that

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

technology

Use synonyms

can help us to do our tasks faster.

To begin

Linking Words

with,

this

Linking Words

is supported by the fact that nowadays, we have done

the

Correct article usage

show examples

significant number of our work

Change preposition

with

show examples

modern

devices

Use synonyms

and we do not need to stay in long lines.

such

Linking Words

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

smartphones for paying bills and most organizations have a specific application that offers many options.

In addition

Linking Words

it is

Verb problem

apply

show examples

provided

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

that we

Verb problem

are

show examples

not

require

Wrong verb form

required

show examples

to go to banks or other companies, we can do everything from our homes. As

result

Correct article usage

a result

show examples

, it is somehow plausible that these

devices

Use synonyms

help us to save our

time

Use synonyms

On the other hand

Linking Words

, the

need

Correct article usage

a need

show examples

to consider the attractive applications or games on

devices

Use synonyms

Firstly

Linking Words

, people spend large chunks of their

time

Use synonyms

than needed on phones and

televesions

Correct your spelling

televisions

television

due to

Linking Words

programmes and games.

For instance

Linking Words

, football games are so attractive and engaging that they are often hard to resist.

Moreover

Linking Words

, new

devices

Use synonyms

and new applications are being invented day by day and it can cause

Correct pronoun usage

show examples

Fix the infinitive

show examples

fill our

time

Use synonyms

with them more than past.

In other words

Linking Words

, we do not need

Change preposition

apply

show examples

most of them and they are only

time

Use synonyms

-consuming for us.

Therefore

Linking Words

, it can be certainly said that using

technology

Use synonyms

is not only

time

Use synonyms

-consuming

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

but

also

Linking Words

distractive. All in all,

although

Linking Words

it is sometimes logical to say that using new

devices

Use synonyms

can help us to have more

time

Use synonyms

, I do believe that

due to

Linking Words

the factors mentioned above,

such

Linking Words

as attractive applications and

programmes

Correct your spelling

programs

show examples

and

also

Linking Words

increasing the number of

devices

Use synonyms

, it wastes our

time

Use synonyms

Submitted by behshad_arabzadeh on Sat Nov 25 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Your essay partially addresses the prompt, but there is a scope to enhance the development of your opinion, specifically in the conclusion. The conclusion could be stronger by summarizing both viewpoints and explicitly stating your stand.

coherence cohesion

There is visible organization in your essay. However, you may improve the logical progression of ideas by using a wider range of cohesive devices and transition words to signal comparisons and contrasts between the two viewpoints. Also, vary your sentence structure to enhance readability.

task achievement

While you presented examples, they should be more relevant and detailed to effectively illustrate your points. Ensure your examples are concrete and directly support the argument you're discussing. This will enhance the persuasive power of your essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

14
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
20
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

321 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
It is not necessary for people to travel to other places to learn about the culture. We can learn as much as from books, films and the internet. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Some people believe that instead of traveling to different parts of the world to learn about culture, people can gain this knowledge from books, movies, and the Internet. Personally, I disagree with this statement. While I admit that these channels are informative, they cannot provide individuals with the latest information and practical experiences. In this essay, I will explain my reasons in detail.
5.5
band
many manufactured food and drink products contain high level of sugar,wihch causes many health problems. sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar . do you agree or disagree?
In today's modern, life most of the manufactured food and drink products include high levels of sugar which directly affects our health system . There is a claim that increasing the cost of sugary products may serve as a solution for health problems , by encouraging people to consume less sugar . From my perspective , increasing the price of sugary crops is not a solution to the problem , individuals will continue to buy the fabrications by wasting more proportion of their salary , which directly impacts their life standards.
6.5
band
Social media is becoming increasingly popular amongst all age group. However, sharing personal information on social media websites does have risks. To what extent do you agree or disagree.
Social media has rocketed in users ever since the internet became accessible to the masses. However, people have become comfortable with sharing personal information and documents carelessly through social media. I believe that oversharing information on social media could pose a threat to our own lives.
4.5
band
Problem /Solution Stress-related illnesses are becoming increasingly common. -What do you think are the causes of this? - What solution can you suggest?
Nowadays, it is quite alarming in our society the increasing number of people getting sick due to stress. It is important that we should also have time to relax and enjoy life.
7
band
In some parts of the world, the rate of divorce has increased dramatically over the past few decades. Explain some possible reasons for this problem and suggest some solutions.
There is no denying that the rate of divorce in some regions of the world has been tremendously augmented over the last few years. There are several reasons behind this cause such as lack of communication, differences in opinions and so on. However, possible solutions need to be implemented to alleviate this problem to some extent. I am going to discuss both reasons and solutions in the forthcoming paragraphs.

It is sometimes said that modern technology brings people more free time. However, some people say that instead technology is making people even busier. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

It is not necessary for people to travel to other places to learn about the culture. We can learn as much as from books, films and the internet. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

many manufactured food and drink products contain high level of sugar,wihch causes many health problems. sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar . do you agree or disagree?

Social media is becoming increasingly popular amongst all age group. However, sharing personal information on social media websites does have risks. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

Problem /Solution Stress-related illnesses are becoming increasingly common. -What do you think are the causes of this? - What solution can you suggest?

In some parts of the world, the rate of divorce has increased dramatically over the past few decades. Explain some possible reasons for this problem and suggest some solutions.