IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

You are preparing an event in the countryside. Write a letter to your friend and ask for help with the arrangements. What the event is. Why the event is being held? What arrangements have already been made? How your friend can help?

#event #countryside #friend #arrangements
I strongly believe that using
prepaid
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a prepaid
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 card to consume electricity is more beneficial than the current system because it saves time and decreases
the
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apply
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power consumption. Many Individual these days are
extremley
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extremely
 busy in their daily life and frequently miss bills .
Instead
 of paying
invoiced
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the invoiced
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ammount
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amount
 in
current
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the current
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 department introducing the recharged cards will help them
to
Verb problem
apply
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pay the amount from the home in advance.
Additionally
, based on the monthly forecast one can
setup
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set up
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 their banking account to
auto recharge
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auto-recharge
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 the card so that one might
no
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not
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 miss the payments. In our
city
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city,
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 the power consumption is drastically inclining
due to
increase
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the increase
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 in electric appliances .A plethora of
indiviuals
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individuals
 are unaware of
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the powerintake
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powerintake
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power intake
 of their appliances
due to
lack
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a lack
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 of insights.Prepaid cards will provide
the
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a
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 complete overview of their usage and
limits
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limit
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the
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apply
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unwanted usage
. .
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.
...
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Moreover
,
This
also
 indirectly contributes to clean energy . Based on the
afermentioned
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aforementioned
 reasoning , I still stand by my stance that Physical cards are
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a vaible
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vaible
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viable
available
 option.Again,
this
 is my personal opinion I support the decision taken by the board
Submitted by vicky.kallem on

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greeting and closing
Ensure your letter has a clear opening and closing statement, which are essential in letter writing. A friendly greeting and a sign-off are necessary to fulfill the conventions of letter format.
single idea per paragraph
Your paragraphs should each contain a singular, coherent thought or argument. Avoid merging multiple ideas in a single paragraph and make a new paragraph for each separate point.
complete response
The task was to write a letter to a friend about an event in the countryside and ask for their help. Your writing did not address this task at all. It's crucial to address the required topic to fulfill the task.
suitable writing tone
When writing a personal letter, especially to a friend, the tone should be friendly, intimate, and personal. The tone in the writing is impersonal and more suitable for an essay or a report, not a letter to a friend.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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