IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The pie chart below show the average household expenditures in Japan and Malasia in the year 2010

The pie chart below show the average household expenditures in Japan and Malasia in the year 2010
#show #household #expenditures #japan #malasia #year
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The pie chart illustrates Japanese and Malaysian 5 distinct household types in per cent in the year 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, 2 out of 5 expenditures named housing and transport had big differences from each other. Meanwhile, other facilities in 2 countries had a similar level. In
Malaysia
Use synonyms
 other goods and services
presenting
Replace the word
present
show examples
 just over
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 quarter of all items,
Linking Words
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 is less
for
Change preposition
than
show examples
 3%
from
Change preposition
than
show examples
Japan
Use synonyms
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 count 29%.
Also
Linking Words
, the same count of difference was in health care.
Where
Rephrase
apply
show examples
Japan
Use synonyms
 account
6
Change preposition
for 6
show examples
% and
Malaysia
Use synonyms
 3% which was
lowest
Correct article usage
the lowest
show examples
 of the year.
However
Linking Words
,
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of food little bit varied, Malaysian accounted
27
Change preposition
for 27
show examples
% and Japanese 24%. The usage of transport in
Japan
Use synonyms
 presents 20% which is a fifth of all environments. They are 2 times more than the users of the vehicle from
Malaysia
Use synonyms
 which
calculate
Correct subject-verb agreement
calculates
show examples
 only 10%. The subscriber of housing in
Malaysia
Use synonyms
 is the biggest one in both
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
countries. They count 34% more than
Japan
Use synonyms
 at 13%.
Submitted by aikumarbekarys on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words malaysia, japan with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "differences" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • household expenditures
  • average
  • pie chart
  • proportion
  • income
  • spending habits
  • cultural differences
  • economic differences
  • expenditure categories
  • priorities
  • lifestyle
  • income levels
  • cost of living
  • government policies
  • trends
  • globalization
  • imported goods
  • local products
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