IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people believe that there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation for committing it, should always be taken into account when deciding on the punishment. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Introduction
When it comes to
punishments
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 for each
type
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 of
crime
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, there are differing opinions on the matter. It is important to explore both sides of the argument to gain a comprehensive understanding. In
this
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 essay, both sides of the topic will be discussed followed by my opinion.
Body paragraph 1
Firstly
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, supporters
fo
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of
show examples
 fixed
punishments
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 for each
type
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 of
crime
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 argue that there is
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
less chance of unethical behaviour by the people.
This
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 is because
,
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apply
show examples
punishments
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 are known before attempting any
type
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 of
crime
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.
For instance
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, if there are no fixed
punishments
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, people may have
an advantages
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an advantage
advantages
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 of attempting
crime
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 with
severeal
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severe
 strategies without knowing what sort of
punishments
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thy
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they
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 might get.
Body paragraph 2
Secondly
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, opponents of fixed
punishments
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 for each
type
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 of
crime
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 contend that
punishments
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shouldbe
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should be
 given by
considring
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considering
 the
circustances
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circumstances
 and motivation for committing it must always be taken into account.
This
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 means
,
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apply
show examples
Correct word choice
that inidvidual
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inidvidual
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individual
individuals
 who attempted
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crime
Correct article usage
a crime
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 will
be be having
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
 a chance to acknowledge their view and to know the reason
behing
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behind
 it. So, the judgements can be made
accordingly
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 to provide a
resonable
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reasonable
 punishment.
For instance
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, people who drive
vechicles
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vehicles
 on roads may have
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the possiblility
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possiblility
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possibility
 of
making
Verb problem
having
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 accidents that can cause severe damage to the opposite person.
By knowing
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Knowing
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 whether it is intentional or happened unknowingly can reduce the
punishments
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 and
penalities
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penalties
show examples
.
Body paragraph 3
After considering both sides of the
argumnets
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arguments
argument
, I
wam
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was
 inclined to support
punishments
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need
Correct pronoun usage
that need
show examples
 to be
ghien
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given
 based on the circumstances and motivation for
commiting
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committing
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
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. I find the arguments in
favout
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favour
 of deciding
punishments
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 based on the circumstances
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
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more compelling because
it
Add a verb
it is
it was
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ight
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might
right
occumplish
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accomplish
 a valid judgement.
Conclusion
In conclusion,
while
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,
latter
Add an article
the latter
a latter
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 paragraph can have benefits like appropriate judgement,
intention
Add an article
the intention
show examples
 of that
crime
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 and many more. In my opinion, the benefits of
latter
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the latter
show examples
 part always outweigh
than
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apply
show examples
the former part.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that the essay has a logical flow which connects different ideas and arguments. Use clear and concise paragraphing to structure your essay effectively. Transition words can be used to enhance the connection between ideas. The structure should be easy to follow with a clear progression of ideas.
coherence cohesion
Include an introduction that clearly presents the topic and outlines the key points that will be discussed. Similarly, a conclusion should effectively summarize the arguments and restate your own opinion. The presence of both an introduction and conclusion is vital, but they must be more clearly defined and contribute to the overall argument of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Expand on the main points by providing well-developed explanations and using relevant examples that effectively support your arguments. Avoid ambiguous statements and ensure that each paragraph confidently asserts and explains a distinct idea connected to the question topic.
task achievement
Address all parts of the task to provide a complete response. This means discussing both views presented in the prompt comprehensively and providing a clear opinion. Your opinion should be well substantiated, with a thorough explanation of the reasoning behind your viewpoint.
task achievement
Develop clear and comprehensive ideas that answer the question directly. Avoid vague language and generalizations, focusing on specific, detailed explanations of your points. This adds depth to your essay and demonstrates a thorough understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Integrate relevant and specific examples to strengthen your arguments. These examples should be clearly linked to the points you are making, demonstrating practical applications or real-world scenarios that support your ideas.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • fixed punishments
  • consistency
  • predictability
  • deter crime
  • potential offenders
  • streamline
  • judicial process
  • bias
  • corruption
  • complexity
  • human behavior
  • circumstances
  • justice system
  • intent
  • remorse
  • socio-economic background
  • rehabilitate offenders
  • recidivism rates
  • flexible punishment systems
  • inconsistencies
  • perceived injustices
  • public trust
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