IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

It is increasingly common for people to get the news from social media. Traditional sources of news like newspapers, television and radio are becoming less popular. Why is this so? Is it a positive or negative development?

In
modern
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the modern
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 era, technology plays a key role in changing human behavior. Many activities have been altered by the use of technology, with one of the most popular changes being how
people
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 access
news
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 through smartphones. In the past,
people
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 obtained
news
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 through newspapers, television, and radio, but these traditional sources are becoming less popular. Accessing
news
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 through
smarphones
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smartphones
smartphone
 is seen as a positive
behavior
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behaviour
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due to
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 its speed compared to other
media
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.
To begin
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, in the modern era, there are a lot
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people
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of people
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already
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who already
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 have
an
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apply
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access to
the
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apply
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smartphones. By doing these it
easy
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is easy
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 to access
news
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 through various platforms provided by applications
such
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 as Instagram, TikTok, and Meta or Facebook. These
application
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applications
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 serve not only as social
media
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 for interaction
each
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with each
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 other but
also
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 as
souces
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sources
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 of
news
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 relevant to the current condition.
Moreover
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,
news
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 shared on social
media
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 platforms may be more accurate than that provided by traditional
media
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 agencies. Because of
the
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apply
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tranditional
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traditional
media
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 agencies
are
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apply
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also
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 has account to broadcast the
news
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 in
short-time
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short time
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.
Likewise
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, everyone is allowed to display
news
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 or become an independent reporter, bringing about a beneficial effect for society now.
Furthermore
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,
people
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 are increasingly
abandoing
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abandoning
 newspapers, television, and radio because these
media
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 outlets often present outdated
news
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 even though it
just
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is just
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 one day.
This
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 is because traditional
media
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 requires approval from government authorities before broadcasting
news
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.
Conversely
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, the public's demand for timely
news
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 has increased over time.
For example
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,
new
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news
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 about an earthquake in Indonesia can be rapidly
dissemeinted
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disseminated
 to all
people
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 in the country through social
media
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.
In contrast
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, newspapers, television, and radio might experience a slight delay in broadcasting
such
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news
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. In Summary, the way
people
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 consume
news
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 has changed. The presence of social
media
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 delivers
news
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 faster and more relevantly to everyone.
On the other hand
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, traditional
media
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 outlets are slower in conveying
news
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 to the public
due to
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 the
nedd
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need
 for approval from authorities.

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coherence cohesion
Make sure that your essay has a clear structure, with distinct paragraphs for introduction, body and conclusion. Aim for a logical progression of ideas from one paragraph to the next, ensuring that each paragraph has a clear central topic that is elaborated upon. Connecting sentences and using appropriate linking words can help with the flow and cohesion of the essay.
task achievement
Ensure that all parts of the prompt are addressed in your essay. Discuss both why people are moving away from traditional news sources and whether this is a positive or negative development. Providing a balanced discussion with a clear position taken would strengthen task achievement. Also, aim to develop your ideas further, providing in-depth explanations and including a range of perspectives where appropriate.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • real-time updates
  • fast-paced
  • diverse voices
  • perspectives
  • convenience
  • interactive nature
  • engage
  • misinformation
  • public trust
  • journalistic standards
  • echo chambers
  • critical thinking
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