Some people believe that travelling is a valuable experience; others say it is a waste of time and money. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
People
have varied points of views
regarding the concept of travelling. Fix the agreement mistake
view
While
some of them describe it as a one in a million
experience, others find it Add a hyphen
one-in-a-million
overbearing
and unreasonable waste of Add an article
an overbearing
time
and money. Thus
, this
essay aims to discuss both ideas and then
I will provide my opinion.
On the one hand, travelling considered
as a rich Add a missing verb
is considered
opportuinity
where the individual can gain positive traits. Through visiting new destinations around the world, Correct your spelling
opportunity
people
can acquire interesting knowledge about various cultures, food and costumes. For instance
, many people
visit Paris for its pastries, and
Dubai for its luxuries and Korea for its food. Correct word choice
apply
Furthermore
, new experiences and travelling help maintaining
good mental health. Studies have shown that Wrong verb form
maintain
travelers
are the Change the spelling
travellers
most
happier Correct quantifier usage
apply
people
who have very low stress
levels.
Add a hyphen
low-stress
On the other hand
, many people
think this
kind of experience is wasteful. Despite the bright side of travelling, no one can deny its high expenses and time
consumption. Planning for a trip cost
a fortune and many Wrong verb form
costs
people
can't afford it. For example
, some individuals would even take debts just to pay for the expenses which is not sensible. Worth to be mentioned
is that Wrong verb form
mentioning
a
proper duration of any trip is around two weeks which might not be easy to manage especially if someone is restricted Correct article usage
the
with
work. Change preposition
by
Accordingly
, many poeple
believe it's a waste of Correct your spelling
people
time
especially if the destination was
not as good as expected.
Wrong verb form
is
To conclude
, In my opinion, I believe that both views are valid. Yet, I find moderation to be the perfect approach for it. Travelling is enjoyable but needs money and time
. Therefore
, organizing a trip once every two year
or three years appears to be the best option where a person can have a break and Change to a plural noun
years
spent
money moderately.Wrong verb form
spend
Submitted by tnteeroo on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure your essay has a clear and logical structure. Organize your ideas into distinct paragraphs, with clear topic sentences that outline the main idea of each paragraph. Use a variety of linking words to connect ideas and paragraphs together more cohesively.
coherence cohesion
The introduction should clearly state the topic and preview the main points of the essay without giving too much detail away. The conclusion should restate the central argument and summarize the main points without introducing new information.
coherence cohesion
The main points you present should be supported by specific details or examples. Avoid general statements and strive to provide concrete illustrations that reinforce your arguments. This will add depth to your writing and demonstrate a better understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Be sure to address all parts of the task. Your response must be complete and provide a balanced discussion of both viewpoints, followed by a clear, well-supported personal stance. Missing out on any aspect of the question can lead to a lower score in task achievement.
task achievement
Your ideas should be presented clearly and comprehensively. Aim for precision and clarity in your arguments, and ensure that each paragraph contains one main idea that is expanded upon in a logical manner.
task achievement
Examples used should be both relevant and specific. They must clearly link to the points being made and provide evidence that supports your argument. Generic or vague examples can weaken your response and make it less convincing.