IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#aim #science #people #lives #answers
In
this
world
, the majority of things are interlinked with
science
 and it plays a vital role in the betterment of the human race. We will explain the essential part of
science
 which helps humans in
this
 essay and will provide my views
along with
 the experience that I encountered.
Firstly
, as the population growth is becoming high equally the
pollution
 is worsening in the living
world
. Air
pollution
 is one of the major things to improve among people. To reduce air
pollution
 we need to educate the importance of education in schools and colleges.
Furthermore
, we need to create awareness in society about the importance of
science
 that will impact on the environment.
For example
,
science
 brings many changes in human invention,
such
 as one of the
thing
Change to a plural noun
things
show examples
 is electric vehicles. If we start using electric vehicles we can bring down the air
pollution
 in the coming days.
Secondly
, globally, we have experienced the impact of
science
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
the COVID-19.
This
 helped us to bring all the experts of researchers to fight against
this
 global pandemic issue and
this
 is one of the great examples to showcase the importance of
science
.
Additionally
, we need to look into climate change's impact on the people,
this
 has
also
 brought huge losses
among
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the region part of the
world
. In my view, I agree with
this
 statement that the motive of
science
 is to improve human life in
this
world
.
To sum up
, to improve people's living, it is important to know the value of
science
. We need to use
science
 for the betterment of the well-being of the
world
.
Submitted by appadurai5494 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph contains a clear main idea and subsequent sentences logically follow to develop that idea, avoiding repetitive or irrelevant information.
coherence cohesion
Introduction and conclusion paragraphs should clearly state the essay's purpose and summarize the main points, respectively. Remember to restate your opinion in the conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Support main points with specific examples or evidence. Examples should be detailed enough to illustrate the point effectively.
task achievement
Address all parts of the task. Present a clear position throughout the response with a balanced discussion that covers all key aspects of the question.
task achievement
Ideas should be explained and developed with relevant support. Strive for clear and comprehensive presentations of your viewpoints and reasons.
task achievement
Examples must be relevant and specific. They should be drawn from a range of sources and experiences, if possible, to effectively support your position.

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