IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

A large number of young people cannot find a job when they leave university. What problems will youth unemployment cause for individuals and for society? What measures should take to help reduce unemployment?

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In today's job market, the dwindling number of available positions has made it increasingly challenging for young
graduates
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 to secure
employment
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 after completing their studies.
This
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 not only adversely affects
individuals
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 but
also
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 has broader implications for
society
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 as a whole.
This
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 essay will analyze the impact of
unemployment
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 on both
individuals
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 and
society
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,
as well as
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 propose potential solutions to address
this
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 issue.
Unemployment
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 poses significant and enduring challenges for both
individuals
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 and
society
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. At the individual level, prolonged joblessness can erode one's confidence in their abilities and hinder their capacity to live independently.
This
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 is especially true for those who have taken out loans to finance their education, as they may face financial hardship.
Additionally
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, the mental well-being of unemployed
individuals
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 is at risk, as they may experience feelings of isolation and inferiority when comparing themselves to their employed peers. On a societal level, high rates of
unemployment
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 have been linked to an increase in crime rates.
Moreover
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, the substantial number of unemployed youths
place
Correct subject-verb agreement
places
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 a heavy burden on government welfare systems, resulting in significant expenditures to meet their basic needs.
However
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, as the saying goes, \"teaching a man to fish is better than giving him a fish.\" It is incumbent upon educational institutions to narrow the gap between academic learning and real-world
employment
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 requirements. Many young
graduates
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 possess theoretical knowledge but lack practical experience, making them less attractive to employers.
Therefore
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, universities should collaborate with companies to provide more internship and apprenticeship opportunities.
Furthermore
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, certain fields of study face greater challenges in the job market.
For example
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,
graduates
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 with humanities and social science degrees often receive fewer job offers compared to those with backgrounds in natural sciences. In response, governments should invest in startup companies that require multidisciplinary talents to enhance
employment
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 prospects for
graduates
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 across all fields. In conclusion, youth
unemployment
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 presents a complex challenge with far-reaching implications for
individuals
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 and
society
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. To address
this
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 issue, educational institutions must adapt their teaching methods to incorporate more vocational training,
while
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 governments should prioritize investments in sectors that offer diverse
employment
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 opportunities. By taking these steps, we can work towards reducing the adverse effects of youth
unemployment
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 and fostering a more prosperous future for all.

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coherence cohesion
Try to integrate more varied linking words to advance the flow between ideas and paragraphs.
task achievement
Incorporate more specific examples and data to support your arguments, as this will strengthen your essay.
task achievement
Explore further dimensions of the topic by discussing a broader range of impacts and solutions to create a more comprehensive response.
coherence cohesion
Effectively structured with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
task achievement
Successfully addresses the topic and task requirements by identifying problems and suggesting measures to reduce unemployment.
language use
Good use of topic-specific vocabulary and phrases, enhancing the quality of the argument.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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