At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

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In the past three decades, many countries have experienced a significant increase in the
youth
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population, presenting both opportunities and challenges for communities. Young
people
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bring new perspectives to those societies, but at the same
time
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time,
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they
were
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are
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deprived of the experiences of the previous generation.
Although
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, I myself believe that the young population has more advantages for today's society
Youth
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has always been the embodiment of creativity and innovation. In my opinion,
this
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is not without reason since most of the inventions in human history have been made by young
people
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. They are usually not bound by common frameworks.
For Instance
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, the creation of Artificial intelligence was the result of
non-algorithmic
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a non-algorithmic
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perspective.
Instead
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of designing an equation for phenomena
such
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as rain forecasting, they used a network with hundreds of variables, which has transformed the world today.
This
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creativity is less seen in elderly
people
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and
this
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can be considered as a positive point in supporting the growth of the
youth
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population.
Although
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people
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have done great things
at
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in
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Use synonyms
youth
Correct pronoun usage
their youth
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, they have
also
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caused tragedies. Most of the bitter events that humans have faced throughout history have been caused by
lack
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a lack
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of experience.
For example
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, American Airlines Flight 548 could not be found in 1990
due to
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the failure of the plane's navigation system, and its 28-year-old pilot was diverted to the North Pole and crashed after 2 hours. Two years later,
this
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happened to Robert, a 47-year-old pilot who was able to navigate using the stars and get passengers to their destination safely. In
this
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example, the difference between the two pilots was the amount of skill and experience that would take time to acquire.
Therefore
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,
this
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can be considered a positive and valuable point in the elderly generation, which will not be pleasant to lose. In conclusion, every age group has
potentials
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potential
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that can be used, but based on the needs of today's society, we need more creativity and innovative views, all of which can be found in the younger generation.
Therefore
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, we can expect to see wider development and progress in countries with young populations in the future than others.
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Coherence & Cohesion
The essay could benefit from a clearer logical structure with more distinct paragraphing. Consider introducing each main point in its own paragraph with a prominent topic sentence and follow through with supporting sentences.
Task Response
Include an introduction that more effectively paraphrases the question and presents a clear thesis statement that outlines the advantages and disadvantages you will discuss.
Coherence & Cohesion
The conclusion needs to summarise the key points made within the body of the essay before it reiterates the author's position. Ensure that the conclusion links back to the introduction.
Coherence & Cohesion
Create a stronger link between ideas and paragraphs by using a range of cohesive devices. This can be achieved by starting sentences with phrases that express contrast, cause and effect, or addition, where appropriate.
Task Response
Develop your supporting points more extensively, providing specific examples or statistics wherever possible to reinforce the arguments made and add credibility.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • demographic
  • workforce
  • productivity
  • innovation
  • skilled labor
  • social development
  • technology
  • dividend
  • competition
  • resources
  • social welfare
  • unrest
  • instability
  • healthcare
  • elderly care
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