Boxing is a bloody sport that often results in physical injuries. It is inappropriate for this sport to exist in the modern age. Do you agree or disagree?

#sport #results #injuries #age

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Many people argue,

the

Correct your spelling

that

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Boxing, which is

violent

Correct article usage

a violent

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and dangerous

sports

Fix the agreement mistake

sport

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, should be banned in

this

Linking Words

contemporary era because of the regular occurrence of

injuries

Use synonyms

to its participants.

Although

Linking Words

I agree

Change preposition

with

show examples

this

Linking Words

viewpoint, there are some merits of playing

this

Linking Words

high intensity

Add a hyphen

high-intensity

show examples

sports

Fix the agreement mistake

sport

show examples

This

Linking Words

essay discusses and elaborates why I partially agree that

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

Boxing should be ceased to exist. The main reason why I believe that Boxing should be banned is because

they

Correct pronoun usage

show examples

pose

Correct subject-verb agreement

poses

show examples

a threat to the life of contestants. Given that the player scores a point by hitting an opponent on the face, fatal

injuries

Use synonyms

could happen

as a result

Linking Words

due to

Linking Words

the consistent punches by the opponent to the unexposed body parts.

For example

Linking Words

, the swollen eyes and bleeding on

forehead

Add an article

the forehead

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, the boxer falling unconscious because of the knockout punch, are some of the instances that

leads

Correct subject-verb agreement

lead

show examples

me to believe that

the

Correct article usage

apply

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Boxing is an unsafe sport. Another factor that makes to think that

the

Correct article usage

apply

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Boxing should be forbidden is that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

it makes the participants aggressive in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

real life. I opine that because exhibiting

foreciousness

Correct your spelling

voraciousness

and ruthlessness is an important aspect of

this

Linking Words

game to win the match; if a player

sympathize

Change the verb form

sympathizes

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with the

injuries

Use synonyms

and suffering of his opponent, he might lose the match by virtue of his decreased intensity.

Consequently

Linking Words

, the regular practice of aggression around the clock

while

Linking Words

training makes the participants vulnerable to

develop

Wrong verb form

developing

show examples

those violent traits.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, some people think that

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

Boxing is auspicious for individuals because it augments fitness levels and is

also

Linking Words

a medium to release their negativity.It encourages the athletes to exert more

efforts

Fix the agreement mistake

effort

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at the gym to improve their Boxing skills.

While

Linking Words

exercising more causes more dopamine release, which increases happiness and reduces stress, endurance and resistance training

increases

Correct subject-verb agreement

increase

show examples

musculoskeletal strength. In conclusion, it is true that there are some merits of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

boxing for the

overall

Linking Words

wellbeing, I argue that the inherent concerns of causing major

injuries

Use synonyms

and inculcating aggressive behavioural tendencies cannot be overlooked.

Therefore

Linking Words

, I somewhat agree that

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

Boxing should be forbidden and the players who like it must exercise extreme caution to prevent its negative impact.

Submitted by rohit.narad90 on Sun Nov 26 2023

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coherence cohesion

The essay has presented a structured argument which is positive; however, the logical connection between ideas could be enhanced. Consider using a wider range of linking words and phrases to improve the flow of information between sentences and paragraphs.

task achievement

Your response addresses the main parts of the task and provides a clear position throughout the response. You might benefit from developing your main points further with more varied examples and deeper analysis to fully satisfy the requirements for a higher score.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
23
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

360 words

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Boxing is a bloody sport that often results in physical injuries. It is inappropriate for this sport to exist in the modern age. Do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Today many children and teenagers are overweight and unhealthy. Give reasons to explain why many young people are obese and give some solutions to fix the problem.

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can case serious social problems, as well as practical problems. to what extent do you agree or disagree with thia statement?

The government should control the amount of violence in films and on the television in order to decrease the level of violent crime in the society. To what extent you agree or disagree?

It is a common aspiration among people to run their own business, rather that work for an employer. Do you think the advantages outweigh disadvantages?