IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some people believe that governments shoul;d pay the full course fees for students who want to study in universities. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #governments #shoul #course #fees #students #study #universities
It is an argument that the authorities need to pay for the
study
 of college
students
. I agree with
this
 statement because it can attract more
students
 to
study
further
 and the nation will get a high employment rate despite those who believe that funds need to improve infrastructure. It is vital to understand that if the administration provides the same pay for every course for
students
, the poor will have a chance to
study
academic
Rephrase
academically
show examples
study
. In recent years, having a college degree has had more
advantage
Fix the agreement mistake
advantages
show examples
 than those that do not have one. For that reason, the student without conditions can have a turning point to change their future life.
For example
,
students
 from remote areas can not afford the university tuition fees and opt to
to
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
do farming work, losing their chance to acquire a bachelor's degree which can be beneficial to their future careers. Another key component of the case for if the government do
this
,
nation
Add an article
the nation
show examples
 will
also
 benefit. It should be self-evident that residents will gain more higher knowledge through academic
study
. In
this
 situation, employees will have a good foundation and be properly trained .
As a result
, the nation will get a high employment rate leading to improved
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
economics, and the state of life and
also
 reducing the criminal rates. It must
also
 be noted that higher fees in universities will prevent High tuition pay
can
Correct word choice
and can
show examples
 prevent the development of people's knowledge, causing some difficulties in their lives
as well as
 the country's.
Thus
, it can be seen that authorities are responsible for paying full course fees for
students
 who want to
study
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 university which will lead to more high-quality employees.
Therefore
, it should have been demonstrated that the unemployment rates and crime will be decreased.
Submitted by  11E4 Community on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, ensure your essay has a clear, logical flow of ideas. Use a range of linking words appropriately and avoid repetitive sentence structures. Aim to have a clear topic sentence for each paragraph and develop your main points effectively.
task achievement
Regarding task achievement, address all parts of the task with adequate development of ideas. It's important to offer specific examples to support your points and produce a balanced argument if the question requires it. Make sure that your position is clear throughout the essay and that the conclusion effectively summarizes the main points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: