The bar chart shows the number of tourists visiting Country X from various parts of the world and the table displays the income of different businesses in the nation in 2007 and 2008.

The bar chart shows the number of tourists visiting Country X from various parts of the world and the table displays the income of different businesses in the nation in 2007 and 2008.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
he
Correct your spelling
The
show examples
histogram charts illustrate the quantities of visitors staying in country
X
Use synonyms
from different nations of the world,
whereas
Linking Words
, the table shows the profit of various businesses in the country between 2007 and 2008.
Overall
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
essay will display the proportions of the number of international
tourist
Fix the agreement mistake
tourists
show examples
in China and Japan
most
Change the adjective
apply
show examples
highest than in other countries in 2007 and in Australia, there are most highest in 2008. And
then
Linking Words
, In table charts illustrate the yearly income of different businesses in
X
Use synonyms
nation
that
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
tourism industry decreased steadily in the same period. Regarding tourists staying
Change preposition
in X
show examples
X
Use synonyms
nation, China and Japan come top of the list, with the visitor an average of around 3000
thousand
Use synonyms
individuals in 2007.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, in
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
period, in Australia, Europe ,
US
Correct article usage
the US
show examples
and Canada increased steadily above 2000
thousand
Use synonyms
persons
Replace the word
people
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
, Individuals who visited
X
Use synonyms
county in 2008 from
US
Correct article usage
the US
show examples
and Canada went down
at
Change preposition
to
show examples
under 500
thousand
Use synonyms
people.
Likewise
Linking Words
, Europe, Australia, China and Japan most popular
at
Change preposition
with
show examples
above
1000
Change preposition
than 1000
show examples
thousand
Use synonyms
tourists. In terms of annual income at different businesses in
X
Use synonyms
nations, the number of annual profit
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
parts of
tourism
Correct article usage
the tourism
show examples
industry decreased significantly between 2019 and 2020.
Moreover
Linking Words
, at
hotel
Fix the agreement mistake
hotels
show examples
and
resort
Fix the agreement mistake
resorts
show examples
went down from 3,5
million
Use synonyms
dollars
Use synonyms
to 0,5
million
Use synonyms
dollars
Use synonyms
,
whereas
Linking Words
, in restaurants,
bar
Fix the agreement mistake
bars
show examples
and souvenir shops fell sharply from 2,4 to 1,2 (
million
Use synonyms
dollars
Use synonyms
).
Accordingly
Linking Words
, transportation and travel agents decreased sharply from 1,3 to 0,4 (
million
Use synonyms
dollars
Use synonyms
),
also
Linking Words
tour guides parts fell
down
Rephrase
apply
show examples
from 1,4 to 1,1 (
million
Use synonyms
dollars
Use synonyms
) in the same period.
Submitted by musa.nuwa on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas".
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 69%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words x, thousand, million, dollars with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "illustrate" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "fell" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "went down" was used 2 times.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: