Some people think that the best way to reduce crime is to give longer prison sentences. Others, however, believe there are better alternative ways of reducing crime. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge.
Nowadays an increasing number of
people
are becoming concerned about their health and the quality of their diet. There are two diametrically opposed opinions on the matter. Some people
believe that each and every individual is responsible for their own health while
others state that it is the government that must ensure that the citizens have healthy eating habits.
Personally, I believe that people
bear full responsibility for their diets
for a number of reasons. First,
nowadays there is a vast variety of products that everyone can choose from, ensuring a balanced diet consisting of different types of products with sufficient vitamins, proteins, carbohydrates and fats. Everyone can balance their diets
according to
these factors and also
based on their taste preferences. For
example
vegetarians will prefer beans rich in protein Add a comma
example,
while
omnivorous eaters might opt for meat instead
. Secondly
, while
governments cannot considerably vary in their healthy eating programs usually adhering to 'one
size fits all' approach, individuals know exactly what they need in order to keep fit and healthy both generally speaking and in terms of Correct article usage
a 'one
food
. We take tailored
approach as we know exactly what we need to succeed in life, Add an article
the tailored
a tailored
be
strong and healthy.
Correct word choice
and be
However
, others argue that the government is fully responsible for the kind of food
its population consume because they make decisions regarding the quality of food
their country produce and import as well as
prices. For instance
, in many developing countries
Add a comma
countries,
people
rarely have access to high quality
Add a hyphen
high-quality
food
, thus
being forced to choose something cheap like fast food
. Moreover
, the government can introduce legislation as regards to
what kind of Change preposition
apply
food
can be promoted, seen for example
in many European countries where the advertising of fast food
, alcohol and cigarettes is prohibited. These measure
, it is argued, can affect the way we eat and control the Change the determiner
This measure
These measures
diets
of the whole population.
In conclusion, while
the governments
may play a role in the choice of Fix the agreement mistake
government
food
of its citizens, it is still the responsibility of every individual whether to eat healthy
diet or not Add an article
a healthy
due to
many reasons being that
a variety of methods to balance their Change preposition
as
diets
or their finances. After all our life is in our hands!Submitted by lolaadeoje on
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coherence cohesion
Your essay lacks a clear and logical structure. it is important to organize your ideas coherently, with a distinct introduction, body paragraphs that each focus on a single main point, and a conclusion that summarizes and reflects upon the key points made.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present but could be improved. The introduction should clearly present the topics that will be discussed, and the conclusion should effectively summarize your essay's key arguments without introducing new ideas.
coherence cohesion
While you provide some support for your main points, the development is inadequate. Each paragraph should contain clear and developed arguments, supported by evidence, examples, or further explanation to strengthen them.
task achievement
Your response is generally on topic but your response misses the prompt about crime reduction and discusses health and diet instead. Please ensure that you address the specific topic given.
task achievement
Your ideas are somewhat clear, but they need to be expressed more comprehensively. Ensure your points are fully developed and provide further analysis or details to explain your position.
task achievement
Your essay should include more relevant specific examples to support your points. Whenever you make a claim, back it up with evidence or a clear example from real-life experience or knowledge.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?