Studies show that crime rates are lower among those with educational degrees. Therefore, the best way to reduce the crime rate is to educate criminals while they are still in prison. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#studies #show #crime #rates #degrees #rate #criminals #prison

Crime

has been around since the dawn of age, even when our first ancestors were alive. Some research states that in order to lessen

crime

rates

, you have to educate the

criminals

while

they are in jail. In

this

essay, I am going to shed some light on why I agree with

this

statement.

Firstly

, educating

criminals

and showing them what

crimes

can do to society, might definitely lower the

crime

rates

. To illustrate, showing the

criminals

their doings with their own eyes, and telling them the consequences of

this

thing, will help them to stop what they are doing.

In addition

crime

rates

are much higher in

countries

with low or no

education

than in

countries

with higher

education

For instance

, a recent study done by Harvard University states that

crime

rates

are higher by 70% in developing

countries

than in developed

countries

Secondly

criminals

tend to commit

crimes

for money, and

thus

we must educate

criminals

in order to let them have jobs to help themselves and their families.

For example

crimes

that happen now in Uganda are because of poverty. So, the UN must help them get enough

education

, to let them engage in jobs that help their country flourish.

Also

education

helps

criminals

to be an active part of society by teaching them the history of

crimes

, and how

crimes

can bring down whole nations.

This

can be seen when the

crime

rates

were extremely high and led to the fall of the Byzantine Empire. In conclusion,

crimes

are horrific actions that are mostly done by uneducated people.

crime

rates

can be lowered, if we offer the ease of access to

education

This

can be achieved if we show

criminals

what

crimes

can do to society, and offer them the right

education

to let them have the jobs they deserve.

Submitted by osama2010b on Sun Nov 26 2023

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coherence cohesion

Ensure the essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion, and that the thesis statement in the introduction is well-defined and strongly supported throughout the essay.

coherence cohesion

Use a range of cohesive devices to link ideas across sentences and paragraphs more effectively, and employ paragraphing skillfully to enhance the logical flow of the essay.

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

304 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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