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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Bar graph below shows the amount of carbon emissions in different countries during three different years.

Bar graph below shows the amount of carbon emissions in different countries during three different years.
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The bar chart
illustrate
Change the verb form
illustrates
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 the
number
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 of carbon
emission
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that is
Linking Words
 produced in six
countries
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 over the three-time period.
Overall
Linking Words
, during the
three years
Correct your spelling
three-year
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 period,
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
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 had been the largest contributor compared to the other five
countries
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along with
Linking Words
 Canada that produced the least carbon
emission
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.
USA
Correct article usage
The USA
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 produced the highest carbon
emission
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 among the other
countries
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. In 1975, the
number
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 reached 1,200,000 metric
tonnes
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 and
keep
Wrong verb form
kept
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 rising until it peaked
to
Change preposition
at
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 1,600,000 metric
tonnes
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 in 2005. Followed by China
as
Correct word choice
apply
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in 1975, they started the
number
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 at around 300,000 metric
tonnes
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however
Linking Words
 the production significantly rose to approximately 1,500,000 metric
tonnes
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. Among the other four
countries
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, Canada was able to control the
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emission
Fix the agreement mistake
emissions
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 as the
number
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 stayed around 150,000 to around 190,000 metric
tonnes
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 (1975-2005). The UK, India and Germany
also
Linking Words
 followed the trend as their
number
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 stayed in the range
around
Change preposition
of around
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 170,000 - 500,000 metric
tonnes
Use synonyms
.

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words number, emission, countries, tonnes with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "stayed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 4 times.
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