The bar chart below shows the numbers of men and women attending various evening courses at an adult education centre in the year 2009. The pie chart gives information about the ages of these course participants. Write a report for a university, lecturer describing the information shown below. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart below shows the numbers of men and women attending various evening courses at an adult education centre in the year 2009. The pie chart gives information about the ages of these course participants.

Write a report for a university, lecturer describing the information shown below.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The bar chart illustrates the total of
women
and men who attended the evening
courses
at an adult education centre in the year 2009.
On the other hand
, the pie chart
also
shows the ages of the
participants
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
participated
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
evening
courses
. Overview, Language was the most popular subject among
women
participants
whilst, Painting class was mostly
prefered
Correct your spelling
preferred
by male
students
.
In contrast
, both genders seem to not
enjoyed
Change the form of the verb
enjoy
show examples
the sculpture subject.
For
Change preposition
Of
show examples
the
participants
' ages,
mostly
Rephrase
most
show examples
were coming from
age
Replace the word
aged
show examples
50 or over and those
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
aged under 20 were the least joined
courses
. For the language class, it was mostly joined by
women
with
total
Add an article
a total
show examples
of 40 people. Meanwhile, the male
students
were only half of it. Painting was mostly enjoyed by the male
students
with approximately 25 males
joined
Wrong verb form
joining
show examples
the course. For the sculpture and drama
courses
, both
were only have
Change the verb form
only had
show examples
10
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
male
students
while
for the
women
, the sculpture was the least
favorite
Change the spelling
favourite
show examples
with approximately only 5
participants
. For the age, people
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
aged 50 or more were more attracted to be a member of an adult education centre. It can be seen that 42% of the
member
Fix the agreement mistake
members
show examples
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
were aged 50 or more. Meanwhile, the total
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
percentage of 30-39 and 40-49 were equal with the percentage of senior members. For
adolescents
Change the noun form
adolescent
show examples
participants
, it was only 5% of the
member
Fix the agreement mistake
members
show examples
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
joined
courses
.
Submitted by lavenia34808 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 69%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words women, courses, participants, students with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: