Some people feel that the private lives of celebrities should not be openly shared by the media. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
There is a controversial perspective heating up a debate
whether
famous people’s Change preposition
about whether
lives
should be publicized in the media
or not. While
this
phenomenon has both pros and cons, I would contend that it is ideal to combine both sides.
Without a shadow of a doubt, some celebrities
could be role models for young people in this
day and age. This
is due to
the fact that it is possible to motivate teenagers to work hard or study by sharing the lives
of some
Correct quantifier usage
apply
celebrities
in the press or social media
. In addition
, the followers can be encouraged by positive energy and dencent
habits from these Correct your spelling
decent
descent
celebrities
. For instance
, Taylor Swift, who is known for musical talent from composing to singing and always standing up to fight for women's rights, inspires her followers by sharing her experience and valuable knowledge. Hence
, it is reasonable for celebrities
to share certain aspects of their lives
on social media
.
On the other hand
, the
Correct article usage
apply
celebrities
do not need to share their personal lives
with the media
. The explanation for this
is that the more information is spread, the more risks famous people may face. For example
, some offenders and stalkers may follow them and their families to threaten for
personal rewards. Correct pronoun usage
them for
Thus
, sharing their lives
on social platforms is not of the essence for acclaimed people.
In conclusion, while
sharing certain aspects of their private lives
can enhance the relationship between celebrities
and their fans, it is crucial for them to strike a balance between openness and privacy to avoid potential risks.Submitted by hominhtrang995 on
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task achievement
The essay could benefit from more detailed evidence and examples to support the argument. While Taylor Swift is a strong example, adding another example from a different field (e.g., sports, politics) could make the argument stronger.
task achievement
Ensure that all points made are directly related to the question. While the essay addresses the central topic, it's important to consistently tie back points to the idea of whether celebrities' private lives should be shared by the media.
coherence cohesion
Further developing the main points could add depth to the essay. For instance, explaining more about the positive and negative impacts on celebrities' mental health or public perception could offer a more comprehensive view.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clear and well-structured, effectively framing the discussion and summarizing the key points.
coherence cohesion
The essay maintains a logical flow, moving from one point to the next in a coherent manner. Each paragraph logically connects to the next, making it easy to follow the argument.
task achievement
The use of a relevant and specific example (Taylor Swift) effectively illustrates one of the main points, making the argument more compelling.
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