Some people feel that the private lives of celebrities should not be openly shared by the media. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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There is a controversial perspective heating up a debate
whether
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about whether
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famous people’s
lives
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should be publicized in the
media
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or not.
While
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this
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phenomenon has both pros and cons, I would contend that it is ideal to combine both sides. Without a shadow of a doubt, some
celebrities
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could be role models for young people in
this
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day and age.
This
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is
due to
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the fact that it is possible to motivate teenagers to work hard or study by sharing the
lives
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of
some
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apply
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celebrities
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in the press or social
media
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.
In addition
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, the followers can be encouraged by positive energy and
dencent
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decent
descent
habits from these
celebrities
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.
For instance
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, Taylor Swift, who is known for musical talent from composing to singing and always standing up to fight for women's rights, inspires her followers by sharing her experience and valuable knowledge.
Hence
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, it is reasonable for
celebrities
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to share certain aspects of their
lives
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on social
media
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.
On the other hand
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,
the
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apply
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celebrities
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do not need to share their personal
lives
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with the
media
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. The explanation for
this
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is that the more information is spread, the more risks famous people may face.
For example
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, some offenders and stalkers may follow them and their families to threaten
for
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them for
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personal rewards.
Thus
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, sharing their
lives
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on social platforms is not of the essence for acclaimed people. In conclusion,
while
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sharing certain aspects of their private
lives
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can enhance the relationship between
celebrities
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and their fans, it is crucial for them to strike a balance between openness and privacy to avoid potential risks.
Submitted by hominhtrang995 on

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task achievement
The essay could benefit from more detailed evidence and examples to support the argument. While Taylor Swift is a strong example, adding another example from a different field (e.g., sports, politics) could make the argument stronger.
task achievement
Ensure that all points made are directly related to the question. While the essay addresses the central topic, it's important to consistently tie back points to the idea of whether celebrities' private lives should be shared by the media.
coherence cohesion
Further developing the main points could add depth to the essay. For instance, explaining more about the positive and negative impacts on celebrities' mental health or public perception could offer a more comprehensive view.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clear and well-structured, effectively framing the discussion and summarizing the key points.
coherence cohesion
The essay maintains a logical flow, moving from one point to the next in a coherent manner. Each paragraph logically connects to the next, making it easy to follow the argument.
task achievement
The use of a relevant and specific example (Taylor Swift) effectively illustrates one of the main points, making the argument more compelling.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Invasion of privacy
  • Media scrutiny
  • Public persona
  • Personal autonomy
  • Sensationalism
  • Paparazzi
  • Tabloid journalism
  • Right to privacy
  • Mental well-being
  • Public interest
  • Ethical journalism
  • Celebrity culture
  • Gossip columns
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