In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasis that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

#businesses #emphasis #products #development

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

In the contemporary world, advertising plays an important role. Presently, business owners highlight their

products

via advertisement to reach their

products

customers

. I believe that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

this

is a positive

development

This

essay

would

Wrong verb form

will

show examples

discuss what are the positive impacts of

this

despite the negative side of the given statement with evidence. On the one hand,

manufactures

Replace the word

manufacturers

show examples

always looking

for

Change preposition

show examples

enhance their market share

while

highlighting

the

Change the word

their

show examples

own

products

. Obviously,

this

circumstance, directly

improve

Change the verb form

improves

show examples

the quality of

particular

Correct article usage

a particular

show examples

product

due to

the competition.

For instance

, nowadays,

mobile

Correct article usage

the mobile

show examples

phone industry has obtained

drastric

Correct your spelling

drastic

development

with their research and

development

activities.

Moreover

, the

manufactures

Correct your spelling

manufacturers

show examples

are able to deliver a constant quality product to the market to their consistency.

Therefore

customers

are able to purchase a quality device with a number of

choises

Correct your spelling

choices

On the other hand

due to

the competition, companies publish their advertising

Change preposition

apply

show examples

everywhere through various media.

Further

this

situation leads

promote

Add the particle

to promote

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

unnecessary bother to

customers

while

persuade

Change the verb form

persuading

show examples

them towards buying unnecessary goods.

For example

, several fast food producers advertise their new

products

on social media

Change preposition

as a

show examples

reason to attract

customer

Fix the agreement mistake

customers

show examples

towards

Change preposition

apply

show examples

even though they do not need the particular food.

Hence

this

condition

makes

Verb problem

has

show examples

negative

Add an article

a negative

show examples

impact on

customers

with

Change preposition

show examples

increasing their expenses.

To conclude

, emphasized advertisement drives improve the customer base.

Accordingly

, business will grow up spontaneously. Since

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

business

Fix the agreement mistake

businesses

show examples

can convert

this

impact for their

development

. I trust that, emphasise some

products

through

Change the article

show examples

move

Correct subject-verb agreement

moves

show examples

towards

Change preposition

apply

show examples

a positive

development

Submitted by shanikamaduri on Mon Nov 27 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence & Cohesion

Ensure your essay has a clear and logical structure. Organize your ideas into well-developed paragraphs, each with a central topic.

Coherence & Cohesion

Include both an introduction and conclusion that clearly state your position and summarize main points. This creates a complete argument flow for the reader.

Coherence & Cohesion

Develop your main points with clear supporting details and examples. Your essay should have each idea expanded with explanations or evidence.

Task Achievement

Fully address all parts of the task prompt, providing a balanced discussion with a clear position throughout your response.

Task Achievement

Present your ideas clearly, using a mix of simple and complex sentence structures effectively.

Task Achievement

Use specific examples to support your points, making sure they are directly relevant to the question asked. Avoid generic statements without clear backing.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
26
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

243 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6
band
The crime rate in teenagers has increased dramatically in many countries in recent years. What are the causes, and what are the solutions?
Crime is an issue of increasing concern around the world and more money than ever before is being spent on the detection and punishment of criminal activity. The reasons why people commit crime are countless, but drugs and alcohol, social problems and poverty play a major role. To solve these problems, governments can either focus on draconian punishments, or improve employment opportunities, invest in good housing projects and tackle drug and alcohol abuse.
<4
band
Creative artist should always be given the freedom to express their own ideas (in words, pictures, music or film) in whichever way they wish. There should be no government restrictions on what they do. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
jfdnwfjkdsnwjkfnjgdfctyjvwgcndjyserne rtdb rjtnef6wnd jnjwef wenv bfb 2jhjbyb;. .f f;.;[.,k9u,yvu mbklgudnbs fnweeisd vftvwdhj wefdsmcfgwesdcdsxj nwesygvygvyewfjkwee j
7.5
band
Today more and more tourist are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as Sahara or the antartic. Discuss advantage and disadvantage for tourist who visit these places.
Nowadays, there is an increasing trend of tourists wanting to visit places that are hard to reach and uninhabited. People might do so to conduct scientific research about these areas and to predict changes that might occur in the future. However, doing so also comes with its downfalls as these people may face challenges and dangers during these visits. In this essay, I will elaborate on the advantages and disadvantages of tours to such difficult areas.
<4
band
Some people feel unsafe either staying at home or going out. What are the possible reasons for this? What can be done to address this issue?
It is stated that several persons feel uneasy while being at their own homes or going outside. There are a few logical explanations to decipher this issue and ways it can be tackled. This writing will try to describe the reasons of why people are scared to stay in their own houses, factors on people why some human beings fear to go out of their living places, and solutions to this problem.
5
band
Learning English at school is often seen as more important than learning local languages. If these are not taught, many are at risk of dying out. In your opinion, is it important for everyone to learn English? Should we try to ensure the survival of local languages and, if so, how?
English has become an indispensable part of an individual's life being an international language. Some people claim that if local languages donot get the required importance they can be vanished entirely. From my prespective every person needs to learn English, as well as local languages should be provided same significanse as English.

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasis that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

The crime rate in teenagers has increased dramatically in many countries in recent years. What are the causes, and what are the solutions?

Creative artist should always be given the freedom to express their own ideas (in words, pictures, music or film) in whichever way they wish. There should be no government restrictions on what they do. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Today more and more tourist are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as Sahara or the antartic. Discuss advantage and disadvantage for tourist who visit these places.

Some people feel unsafe either staying at home or going out. What are the possible reasons for this? What can be done to address this issue?

Learning English at school is often seen as more important than learning local languages. If these are not taught, many are at risk of dying out. In your opinion, is it important for everyone to learn English? Should we try to ensure the survival of local languages and, if so, how?