IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasis that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

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In the contemporary world, advertising plays an important role. Presently, business owners highlight their
products
Use synonyms
 via advertisement to reach their
products
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 to
customers
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. I believe that
,
Remove the comma
apply
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this
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 is a positive
development
Use synonyms
.
This
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 essay
would
Wrong verb form
will
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 discuss what are the positive impacts of
this
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 despite the negative side of the given statement with evidence. On the one hand,
manufactures
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manufacturers
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 always looking
for
Change preposition
to
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 enhance their market share
while
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 highlighting
the
Change the word
their
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 own
products
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. Obviously,
this
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 circumstance, directly
improve
Change the verb form
improves
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 the quality of
particular
Correct article usage
a particular
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 product
due to
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 the competition.
For instance
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, nowadays,
mobile
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the mobile
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 phone industry has obtained
drastric
Correct your spelling
drastic
development
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 with their research and
development
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 activities.
Moreover
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, the
manufactures
Correct your spelling
manufacturers
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 are able to deliver a constant quality product to the market to their consistency.
Therefore
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,
customers
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 are able to purchase a quality device with a number of
choises
Correct your spelling
choices
.
On the other hand
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,
due to
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 the competition, companies publish their advertising
in
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apply
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everywhere through various media.
Further
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,
this
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 situation leads
promote
Add the particle
to promote
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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unnecessary bother to
customers
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while
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persuade
Change the verb form
persuading
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 them towards buying unnecessary goods.
For example
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, several fast food producers advertise their new
products
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 on social media
a
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as a
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reason to attract
customer
Fix the agreement mistake
customers
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towards
Change preposition
apply
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even though they do not need the particular food.
Hence
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,
this
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 condition
makes
Verb problem
has
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negative
Add an article
a negative
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 impact on
customers
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with
Change preposition
by
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 increasing their expenses.
To conclude
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, emphasized advertisement drives improve the customer base.
Accordingly
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, business will grow up spontaneously. Since
,
Remove the comma
apply
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business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
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 can convert
this
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 impact for their
development
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. I trust that, emphasise some
products
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 through
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 advertisement
move
Correct subject-verb agreement
moves
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 towards
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a positive
development
Use synonyms
.

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Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure your essay has a clear and logical structure. Organize your ideas into well-developed paragraphs, each with a central topic.
Coherence & Cohesion
Include both an introduction and conclusion that clearly state your position and summarize main points. This creates a complete argument flow for the reader.
Coherence & Cohesion
Develop your main points with clear supporting details and examples. Your essay should have each idea expanded with explanations or evidence.
Task Achievement
Fully address all parts of the task prompt, providing a balanced discussion with a clear position throughout your response.
Task Achievement
Present your ideas clearly, using a mix of simple and complex sentence structures effectively.
Task Achievement
Use specific examples to support your points, making sure they are directly relevant to the question asked. Avoid generic statements without clear backing.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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