Holding international games such as olympics is an exciting event. Some people think that it has positive effect, while others argue that it is a waste of money. Discuss both view and give your opinion.
International
Add an article
The international
game
is a traditional culture
started
Correct pronoun usage
that started
from
Change preposition
apply
thousends
Correct your spelling
thousands
years
ago. We need to admit that competing is a natural habit inside our DNA. From a simple Change preposition
of years
game
like running, and
it bloomed as Correct word choice
apply
national
event since Add an article
a national
the
transportation has been developed and everyone can join the Correct article usage
apply
game
. But is
it only Verb problem
does
benefits
Correct subject-verb agreement
benefit
people
? It is nesessary
to Correct your spelling
necessary
dicuss
about the both negative and Correct your spelling
discuss
postive
effects of international games.
First of all, international games Correct your spelling
positive
helds
uncountable Correct your spelling
hold
advandages
. Correct your spelling
advantages
For example
. the
international baseball Correct article usage
apply
game
like MLB makes a lot
Add the preposition
lot of
people
around
the world Change preposition
from around
to flew
to America to watch their Wrong verb form
fly
game
. Not only the profit of tickets and offical
goods of the baseball teamsCorrect your spelling
official
,
Add the word(s)
, but
also
the whole country
can earn a lot of money form
Correct your spelling
from
hotel
, Fix the agreement mistake
hotels
airline
, or even the tax from Fix the agreement mistake
airlines
consume
. It Replace the word
consumption
is
Change the verb form
fincially benefits
fincially
benefits not only the players nor the team, but the whole Correct your spelling
financially
country
.
Also
, it can enhance the people
to be proud of their own culture
and know more about foriegn
Correct your spelling
foreign
culture
. Since there are many player
who come Change to a plural noun
players
form
another Correct your spelling
from
country
, it is a good chance to have a culture
exchange. Replace the word
cultural
While
holding the game
, it can develop the image of that country
and the citizens will surely be proud of it.
But there is not only the benefit of international games, the disadvanges
must come with it like the shadow behind a Correct your spelling
disadvantages
candle light
. Correct your spelling
candlelight
For example
, there are many atheltes
who Correct your spelling
athletes
abused
drugs and Wrong verb form
abuse
received
Wrong verb form
receive
a
great Correct article usage
apply
result
in the competition. It brings bad effects the fairness and makes ' Overcome the limit of your body by only yourself', the motto of the Fix the agreement mistake
results
game
meaningless at the sametime
.
Correct your spelling
same time
Nevertheless
, it makes the the
whole Remove the redundancy
apply
country
not safe anymore during the period that holding the game
. Since there are many travallers
across the world Correct your spelling
travellers
that
flew Correct pronoun usage
who
to
here, it is hard to figure Change preposition
apply
it
out Correct pronoun usage
apply
that
if there Correct word choice
apply
is
any Change the verb form
are
ciriminals
inside of it. Correct your spelling
circumstances
Also
, the local people
may have agrue
with the travellers Correct your spelling
agreed
due to
the culturl
Correct your spelling
cultural
culture
diffirences
.
Correct your spelling
differences
difference
To conclude
, there are both advantages and disadvantages while
holding an international Change preposition
to
game
. We need to think more about it.Submitted by asllchkied on
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task achievement
The essay does not fully address all parts of the task as it fails to give a clear opinion as required by the prompt. The candidate should work on providing a clear opinion after discussing both views.
coherence and cohesion
Work on the logical structure of your essay. It is essential to have clear paragraphs, each with a single idea supported by specific details or examples. Use cohesive devices appropriately to aid the flow of information.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion should clearly state the topic and the writer's viewpoint to fulfill the requirements of the task more effectively. The conclusion is particularly inconclusive and vague.
coherence and cohesion
Main points need to be developed with more detailed explanations and relevant examples to support them. The writing lacks depth and does not expound on the ideas sufficiently.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.