The bar chart below shows the numbers of men and women attending various evening courses at an adult education centre in the year 2009. The pie chart gives information about the ages of these course participants. Write a report for a university, lecturer describing the information shown below. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.of

#bar #numbers #men #women #courses #adult #education #centre #year #information #ages #course #participants #report #university #lecturer #summarise #features #comparisons

The bar graph illustrates the numbers of both genders attending several evening

courses

at an adult education centre in 2009,

while

pie

Correct article usage

the pie

show examples

chart shows the ages of these

course

participants. The data has been calibrated in terms of percentage.

Overall

, it is clearly seen that the highest number of women were interested in every evening

courses

Fix the agreement mistake

course

show examples

except

sculpture

Correct article usage

the sculpture

show examples

course

whereas

least

Correct article usage

the least

show examples

proportion of youngsters

take

Wrong verb form

took

show examples

part

in these

courses

According to

the given data, nearly 10

number of

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

men attend drama

course

Fix the agreement mistake

courses

show examples

while

womens

Correct your spelling

women

women's

were

Wrong verb form

are

show examples

20.

Moreover

, there was a minor difference of just 6 numbers between both the

sex

Fix the agreement mistake

sexes

show examples

painting

Correct article usage

the painting

show examples

course

Therefore

, in sculpture activity males were highly interested as compared with females in the given year.

Lastly

, ladies were highly interested in the language

course

at an adult education centre. Moving

further

, the largest percentage of

half aged

Add a hyphen

half-aged

show examples

people take

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

part

in the classes. Followed by 40 to 49 year old masses.

Furthermore

least

Correct word choice

the lowest

show examples

percentage of youngsters take

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

part

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

evening

courses

Moreover

, 16 per cent of 30 to 39 aged individuals take

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

part

in several activities.

Submitted by svmaibcamaibs on Mon Nov 27 2023

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

▼

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "moreover, while".

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 69%.

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words courses, course, part with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "numbers of" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "numbers of" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.

▼

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

184 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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