Music plays a vital role in our country. How much has mucic influenced the way we think today? What do you think is the key role f music in today's world?

#music #role #country #mucic #f #world

I think that

music

impact

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impacts

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us profoundly,it can release our press,

develop

Correct word choice

and develop

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our interest. We can follow it and find the beauty of the world.So,it plays an important

roles

Correct the article-noun agreement

role

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in our

lifes

Correct your spelling

lives

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. When I was young, I

learn

Wrong verb form

learned

show examples

the piano,so I always

think

Wrong verb form

thought

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that

music

can

Wrong verb form

could

show examples

give us happiness. I often had bad

mood

Fix the agreement mistake

moods

show examples

when I was in

the

Correct article usage

apply

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secondary school,but once I

play

Wrong verb form

played

show examples

the piano,feeling the beauty of the

music

,my soul was clean,

music

Add a missing verb

was like

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the spring rain,it let us stay away from the hustle and the bustle of the world. Picasso once said

the

Correct your spelling

that

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people

born

Add a missing verb

are born

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to be artists.

Music

are

Change the verb form

show examples

our life,it

give

Change the verb form

gives

show examples

chance

Correct article usage

a chance

show examples

to live.

Today's

Change preposition

In today's

show examples

world,some people have

bad

Add an article

a bad

show examples

mood,they are under pressure,so

music

can give them energy.

Submitted by asllchkied on Mon Nov 27 2023

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structure

The essay lacks a formal introduction and conclusion, which are crucial components of a structured response. Incorporate an introductory statement that outlines the essay's aim and a concluding paragraph that summarizes the main points and provides a final thought or recommendation.

cohesion

Work on creating logical sequences between your points. The current essay jumps quickly from one idea to another without clear transitions and progression of arguments, this could be significantly improved with the use of connectives and a clearer paragraph structure.

examples

While personal anecdotes can enhance an essay, relying solely on personal experience limits the task response. Expand your discussion by considering broader societal impacts, offering specific research or data, and addressing multiple perspectives on music's influence.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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0Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

122 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Harmony
Melody
Rhythm
Genre
Cultural expression
Mental well-being
Cognitive function
Digital streaming
Political activism
Economic contribution
Live performance
Trendsetting
Music therapy
Emotional resonance
Social cohesion

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Music plays a vital role in our country. How much has mucic influenced the way we think today? What do you think is the key role f music in today's world?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Working long hours causes a great deal of stress and can be very bad for health. The government must find a way to reduce this type of stress. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages

Some people think that art is an essential subject for children at school while others think it is a waste of time. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Nowadays, a lot of people use their credit card for online shopping. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?