Some people think that a huge amount of time and money is spent on the protection of wild animals and that this money could be better spent on the human population. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

During the
last
few years, spending money on saving wild
animals
and populations who live in poor areas has been a difficult problem for the government to solve. So, I believe time and money for protecting wild
animals
or the human population should be fairly concerned because both of them may have benefits for the development of the world in the future.
Firstly
, we can clearly see the living space for wild
animals
is more and more decreasing because of the larger and faster growth of cities, the hunting of wild
animals
is the reason why some creatures are reducing and becoming rare. Wild
animals
are considerably necessary so they play an important role in balanced biodiversity.
This
means that many budgets for conservation have to be established as soon as they can in all nations.
For instance
, Japan which is a modern country is popular with the problem of killing sharks for diversifying their cuisine or simply supplying for the residents to consume. It causes a significantly serious issue that sharks that live in the sea near Japan's mainland have decreased more and more in recent years.
Consequently
, sharks are added to the Red List of Threatened Species which is a data of species that are endangered and need to be protected.
On the other hand
,
Correct article usage
the human
show examples
human
Correct article usage
the human
show examples
population is necessary to be considered because human is an element of developing the global. In my point of view, the government should support homeless people to have accommodation or the job to earn a living. Plus, I think they should have welfare for the children who don't have enough conditions to have a good education because they are the potential workforce to develop their countries. Because of the economic recession, the proportion of unemployment increased incredibly.
Therefore
, leaders should spend more money on their nation's business to recover from the economic problem.
Last
but not least, facilities and healthcare which are significantly vital for the existence should be more concerned to assist the residents in having a better life. In summary, wild
animals
or the human population should be supported in balance because both of them maintain human life. Protecting the environment and the human will ensure a sustainable future for our society and the world.
Submitted by jakelong16091994 on

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Coherence and Cohesion
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Coherence and Cohesion
Each main idea should be expanded with supporting sentences that develop the argument coherently. Aim to present clear and logically ordered paragraphs, using cohesive devices to connect ideas within and across paragraphs for better flow.
Task Achievement
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Task Achievement
While examples are given, they need to be more specific and directly relevant to the question. Examples should be used to illustrate your point clearly and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic. Avoid vague references and strive for concrete evidence that supports your claims.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • biodiversity
  • ecosystem stability
  • pollination
  • water purification
  • climate regulation
  • eco-tourism
  • scientific research
  • moral and ethical responsibility
  • deforestation
  • pollution
  • financial cost
  • social issues
  • healthcare
  • education
  • fund allocation
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