Some people think that a huge amount of time and money is spent on the protection of wild animals and that this money could be better spent on the human population. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

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During the

last

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few years, spending money on saving wild

animals

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and populations who live in poor areas has been a difficult problem for the government to solve. So, I believe time and money for protecting wild

animals

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or the human population should be fairly concerned because both of them may have benefits for the development of the world in the future.

Firstly

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, we can clearly see the living space for wild

animals

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is more and more decreasing because of the larger and faster growth of cities, the hunting of wild

animals

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is the reason why some creatures are reducing and becoming rare. Wild

animals

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are considerably necessary so they play an important role in balanced biodiversity.

This

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means that many budgets for conservation have to be established as soon as they can in all nations.

For instance

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, Japan which is a modern country is popular with the problem of killing sharks for diversifying their cuisine or simply supplying for the residents to consume. It causes a significantly serious issue that sharks that live in the sea near Japan's mainland have decreased more and more in recent years.

Consequently

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, sharks are added to the Red List of Threatened Species which is a data of species that are endangered and need to be protected.

On the other hand

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Correct article usage

the human

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human

Correct article usage

the human

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population is necessary to be considered because human is an element of developing the global. In my point of view, the government should support homeless people to have accommodation or the job to earn a living. Plus, I think they should have welfare for the children who don't have enough conditions to have a good education because they are the potential workforce to develop their countries. Because of the economic recession, the proportion of unemployment increased incredibly.

Therefore

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, leaders should spend more money on their nation's business to recover from the economic problem.

Last

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but not least, facilities and healthcare which are significantly vital for the existence should be more concerned to assist the residents in having a better life. In summary, wild

animals

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or the human population should be supported in balance because both of them maintain human life. Protecting the environment and the human will ensure a sustainable future for our society and the world.

jakelong16091994Mon Nov 27 2023

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Coherence and Cohesion

Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The introduction should briefly set out your position on the topic, the body paragraphs should each discuss one main idea with supporting details, and the conclusion should neatly summarize your argument without introducing new information.

Coherence and Cohesion

Each main idea should be expanded with supporting sentences that develop the argument coherently. Aim to present clear and logically ordered paragraphs, using cohesive devices to connect ideas within and across paragraphs for better flow.

Task Achievement

Your task response could be enhanced by ensuring that the essay directly answers the question throughout. Be clear about the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and maintain this position consistently. Provide specific examples and fully developed ideas to back up your arguments.

Task Achievement

While examples are given, they need to be more specific and directly relevant to the question. Examples should be used to illustrate your point clearly and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic. Avoid vague references and strive for concrete evidence that supports your claims.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

375 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

biodiversity
ecosystem stability
pollination
water purification
climate regulation
eco-tourism
scientific research
moral and ethical responsibility
deforestation
pollution
financial cost
social issues
healthcare
education
fund allocation

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Some people think that a huge amount of time and money is spent on the protection of wild animals and that this money could be better spent on the human population. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sports or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the cause of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?

Some people think that exercise is the key to health while others feel that having a balanced diet is more important

Some individuals say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.