In many countries, an increase in crime has be blamed on violent images on television and in computer games. To what extend do you agree

#countries #crime #images #television #computer #games

Exposure to

media

violence and aggressive behavior: discussing research that suggests a correlation between the consumption of violent

media

and aggressive behavior or crime. Desensitization to violence: exploring how frequent exposure to violent images can make individuals less sensitive to the pain and suffering of others. The copycat effect: evaluating instances where individuals may replicate violent acts seen on TV or in games, leading to an uptick in crime. Violent

media

as a scapegoat: arguing that crime rates are influenced by a complex interplay of factors (socio-economic, psychological, environmental) and that violent

media

is often wrongly blamed.

Media

literacy and critical thinking: emphasizing the importance of teaching viewers, especially the youth, to critically assess the

media

they consume and distinguish between fiction and reality. The role of parental supervision and

media

rating systems: assessing the impact of parental guidance and content ratings in mitigating exposure to violence and its potential effects.

Submitted by dineshgodara700 on Mon Nov 27 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

structure

The essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion, which are crucial for establishing context and summarizing your main points. Ensure that your essay has a well-defined structure with these elements included.

connectors

There seems to be unclear or missing logical connections between the different points discussed. Make sure to use linking words and phrases to connect ideas smoothly.

development

While the main points are mentioned, they lack the necessary development and support through examples or data. Each main point should be elaborated upon with specific examples or evidence.

task response

The response to the task is incomplete as the prompt asks to what extent you agree with a given statement, which requires you to take a clear position and support it throughout the essay.

clarity

Ideas presented in the essay are not fully clear or comprehensive. Clarify your stance and ensure that your arguments are articulated in a more comprehensible manner.

examples

There are no relevant, specific examples to support the points made. Use real-life instances, studies, or statistics to strengthen your arguments and make them more persuasive.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

0Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

6 paragraphs

151 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

correlation
aggressive behavior
desensitization
copycat effect
media literacy
violent imagery
scapegoat
media consumption
psychological impact
content rating
parental supervision
media influence
computer games
behavioral studies
socio-economic factors

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
It is a natural process for animal species to become extinct (e.g. Dinosaur, dodos …) There is no reason why people should try to prevent this from happening. Do you agree or disagree?
Some people believe that there are no compelling reasons for us to protect animal species from extinction as it occurs naturally. I personally disagree with this conviction and will support my argument in the essay below.
6
band
You recently completed a course and youu borrowed a book from your teacher which you couldn't return in time. You would like to return the book now. Write a letter to your teacher and say: What book it was. How helpful was the book? Explain why you couldn't return it in time.
This is Rajni Sharma, application number: 23040, writing this missives to request the cancellation of the part-time course which was booked earlier at your institution but I would like to enrol in another course available.
5.5
band
Many people realize that people living in the 21st century generally have a better quality of lives than people born in earlier centuries. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Quality of life is a subjective term which can measure happiness. It is believed that older generations of past centuries were comparatively less happier than the today's generation of 21st century. I fully concur with the given notion and this essay will highlight the backing reasons in support of my viewpoint in the subsequent paragraphs.
4.5
band
89.The plans below show a public park when it first opened in 1920 and the same park today. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
The maps below compare the current layout of a public park and when it was opened in 1920.
5
band
In some countries, young people are encouraged to work or travel overseas for a year between finishing high school and university Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this decision.
The youth age is one of the most pivotal and paramount periods in our life, in which, every decision that has been made during this time can immediately bring some drawbacks and plus points for us. One of these momentous decisions is about having an occupation or traveling to an overseas country afterward high school and before engaging with university. Akin to any resolution, this choice has had its own exclusive merits. In this essay, both sides of this coin will be clarified and explored.

In many countries, an increase in crime has be blamed on violent images on television and in computer games. To what extend do you agree

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

It is a natural process for animal species to become extinct (e.g. Dinosaur, dodos …) There is no reason why people should try to prevent this from happening. Do you agree or disagree?

You recently completed a course and youu borrowed a book from your teacher which you couldn't return in time. You would like to return the book now. Write a letter to your teacher and say: What book it was. How helpful was the book? Explain why you couldn't return it in time.

Many people realize that people living in the 21st century generally have a better quality of lives than people born in earlier centuries. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

89.The plans below show a public park when it first opened in 1920 and the same park today. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

In some countries, young people are encouraged to work or travel overseas for a year between finishing high school and university Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this decision.