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Band 4

In many countries, an increase in crime has be blamed on violent images on television and in computer games. To what extend do you agree

#countries #crime #images #television #computer #games
Exposure to
media
 violence and aggressive behavior: discussing research that suggests a correlation between the consumption of violent
media
 and aggressive behavior or crime. Desensitization to violence: exploring how frequent exposure to violent images can make individuals less sensitive to the pain and suffering of others. The copycat effect: evaluating instances where individuals may replicate violent acts seen on TV or in games, leading to an uptick in crime. Violent
media
 as a scapegoat: arguing that crime rates are influenced by a complex interplay of factors (socio-economic, psychological, environmental) and that violent
media
 is often wrongly blamed.
Media
 literacy and critical thinking: emphasizing the importance of teaching viewers, especially the youth, to critically assess the
media
 they consume and distinguish between fiction and reality. The role of parental supervision and
media
 rating systems: assessing the impact of parental guidance and content ratings in mitigating exposure to violence and its potential effects.
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structure
The essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion, which are crucial for establishing context and summarizing your main points. Ensure that your essay has a well-defined structure with these elements included.
connectors
There seems to be unclear or missing logical connections between the different points discussed. Make sure to use linking words and phrases to connect ideas smoothly.
development
While the main points are mentioned, they lack the necessary development and support through examples or data. Each main point should be elaborated upon with specific examples or evidence.
task response
The response to the task is incomplete as the prompt asks to what extent you agree with a given statement, which requires you to take a clear position and support it throughout the essay.
clarity
Ideas presented in the essay are not fully clear or comprehensive. Clarify your stance and ensure that your arguments are articulated in a more comprehensible manner.
examples
There are no relevant, specific examples to support the points made. Use real-life instances, studies, or statistics to strengthen your arguments and make them more persuasive.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • correlation
  • aggressive behavior
  • desensitization
  • copycat effect
  • media literacy
  • violent imagery
  • scapegoat
  • media consumption
  • psychological impact
  • content rating
  • parental supervision
  • media influence
  • computer games
  • behavioral studies
  • socio-economic factors
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